Life's Lyrics

Chapter Ten

Sunday, November 7 (Continued)

"Blair," He whispered into my lips, "What does this mean?" I pull back from him, avoiding his eyes, "Nothing. It means nothing, Spencer. You can't say anything about this; I'm getting married." As soon as it came out of my mouth, he moved away from as if repulsed by just the sight of me. When I finally glanced his way, his face showed pain, confusion and then the worst of all. Anger. "Are you kidding me? You think that you saying you are getting married is an excuse I'm going to believe." He cut himself off, his eyes softening. "You can't let this fear; your scars get the best of you, because you are worth so much more than this, just to give up," he let out a sigh, "Don't let him win. You are the only one that decides the score."

I pace up and down the small room beside the filming room. "Blair, you'll be fantastic," Lyla says with a smile, "You always have been." I turn to reply to her, but the stage manager calling me to my interview interrupts us.
In the background, I can hear the presenter introducing me to the show, "Everyone put your hands together for one of our youngest superstars, Blair Adams, Soon to be Blair Conran, am I right Blair?" She says just as I walk onto screen. I put on my biggest smile, "Yes that is correct, but let's not get ahead of ourselves it's a few months off yet." I kiss the presenter on the check and take a seat in one of the white seats, situated to the left of the screen. "Now, now that time will fly, and then it will be the honey moon and babies?" She says with a question in her voice.
"Honey moon yes but don't get your hopes up, we won't be having children anytime soon," I say with a light laugh.
"Oh is that right? I believe I read somewhere that you were an only child and would love to have a big family?" My smile faltered for a second, "Yes but as a couple, Sebastian and I have decided to wait a while and only have one or two, as our lives are very busy." I grit my teeth as I reply to Silvia, the presenter.
"Even though we all love the gorgeous, Sebastian from Arrowheart, we don't want you to miss out on your big family dreams." I internally cringe, begging from a saviour from these very sensitive questions. I can't seem to come up with a reply because the only thing that is running through my mind is that, Spencer wanted a big family.
"Moving on, how is the planning of the wedding coming?" She asks, completely oblivious to my current state.
"Well I have picked out a dress already," I say grinning because I know I can talk about this for hours.
"Do tell us!"

As I walk out, and into the carpark, Lyla says, "That went just as good as I told you it would," She gives me a squeeze.
"I thought so too, but I need a rest," I yawn just as I say this.
"Home time," she says a skip in her step.
I can't remember the last time I was that happy to skip. Scratch that, I don't remember the last time I was happy at all. Well maybe I can.

We walk into the lounge and my mother and her friend are chatting away, "Hey honey, we saw you on the telly, you did great!" I glance briefly at them before looking around the rest of the lounge and the kitchen for Spence. "Where's Spencer?" I ask.
"Upstairs, but how about we tell..." I didn't hear the rest of what she said because I was already climbing the stairs two at a time.
"What the hell was that?" He asks as I walk into the guest room. Before I can reply, he is talking again.
"You can't wait to put on your white dress, go on your honey moon and have kids with that son of a..." He takes a sharp breath. "I can't believe how easily you lied like that, you could have told everyone everything and this could be over, but I'm starting to believe you want to keep living like this."
"How can you say that to me" I say quietly.
"Are you going to tell someone, other than me?"
"Not this again, please" I beg him.
"I take that as a no then, well I'm not going to stand here watching you get hurt, because it hurts me too much."
"This has nothing to do with you. How can this be hurting you?" I say wringing my hands nervously.
"Because I care about you, dammit, I friggen love you, okay?" He looks at me sadly, "and because I love you I'm going to tell someone."
"Don't" Is all I can manage to say.
"Fuck all of this Blair, I just can't." He picks up an already packed suitcase that I only just noticed. My eyes widen and I reach for him, not having any words to explain that the fear of him leaving is greater than any fear I ever had of Sebastian. "No." He takes his hand back and walks out.

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