One Small Step|| Taekook

"What about the justice he deserved?"

"I was a bully as a child. I was mean and hateful. As I grew older, I looked back at what I'd done, and I was horrified at the devastation I had left in my path. The words I said had faded away, but the scars were forever burned on those people"

-----\\----

When Jeongguk was only ten, he and his brother had found their mother bruised all over, crying.
Maybe, it was where the downfall of his life began, the crack that kept him void till this day.
When he was eleven, his mother had passed away. He didn't know it then, but he knew it now. Everyone said it was a suicide, but he knew she was murdered. Abuse murdered her.

When Jeongguk was twelve, he had found his father mercilessly beating his older brother.
When asking about what had happened, Namjoon, his elder brother, had smiled sadly, answering how he had committed a sin and deserved to be punished.

The bruises on his brother's body had made Jeongguk cry so badly. Namjoon had told him that day that he couldn't be what their father wanted him to be, but he hoped Jeongguk fulfilled his wish.

He might not remember everything from that day, but the words that Namjoon had told Jeongguk were still etched in his memories.

"Promise me ggukkie, That you will never lose your heart..."

That was the last time Jeongguk had ever seen his brother before he had run away, leaving him all alone in the devil's den.

-

By the time he was fifteen, both Namjoon and his promise to him were memories.

He had by then, already learnt the first lesson of his life. Never disobey or go against your father. In those three years, a lot of things had changed. First one that he had already been on the receiving end of his father's anger multiple times.

The first time hurt and he cried all night long. He didn't remember what was the reason his father had beaten him for, but all night long, he had huddled under the covers of Namjoon's bed in his room, as if he was in Namjoon's embrace.

By the fifth and the sixth time, he had stopped crying and looking for Namjoon's embrace. It was the second change he went through. The hatred and the resentment for his brother who had left him all alone in there. At first he used to wonder why he didn't take him with himself, but slowly only those thoughts lead to anger.

It was also then he had come to know what sin his brother had committed. Namjoon was gay, he had kissed a boy. Maybe he had run away to their home to live with them. Jeongguk hated the fact that Namjoon left him because of a boy, whom he loved. So, did that mean he didn't love his own brother? He hated the fact that he was gay. And besides, his father had told him 'liking a boy was not normal, it was a sin.'

Jeongguk didn't go against his father's words. His words were Jeongguk's words.

With each beating, he bottled up his emotions, didn't cry, because his father had told him, "Only the weak cry Jeongguk, you are not going to be weak, the only heir of my empire, the most feared gang in the underworld of Korea. You are made to rule, be ruthless."

For that fifteen year old Jeongguk, pleasing his father was the only life goal.

His father didn't pay attention to him, other than occasional beatings. Sometimes, the beating sessions were only for releasing his anger. He rarely saw him other than those nights. For that child Jeongguk, getting his father to look at him proudly was more important than anything, and somehow that child Jeongguk thought that gaining power like his father would make it happen.

So he extended his influence to the only place his father did not look out for. His school. Being from the family line who was the richest in whole Korea at that moment, it was easy. Others were already intimidated by him. It was easy to make them bend on his wishes. The first time Jeongguk had bullied someone, it ended up with them bloodily beaten by his minions. He knew no complaint against him could actually end up harming him. A part of him wished that his father would react to this, notice him, tell him that he was worthy.