One Small Step|| Taekook

Metanoia

"Don't-" Taehyung breaks, hands coming to rest close to his heart. Jeongguk is sure that Taehyung can feel his racing heart. "Don't confuse me-"

"Why did you save me that night, Jeongguk?" Taehyung looks up at him, accusation filled in his tone. "Why did you save me? Why didn't you leave me to drown and die, just like you did all those years ago?"

Taehyung laughs bitterly. "Can you even imagine how much of a mess I am in... all because of you?"

"My past is ruined. My present is in a mess. I know you will haunt me in my future as well! Tell me why Jeongguk? Tell me why? Why can't you let me carry that one image for you all throughout my life? Why did you have to go act all saint now?"

"Why! Why?!" Taehyung shouts, thrashing his palm against the wall, just near Jeongguk's face. Jeongguk flinches, looking away. He can't look into his eyes anymore. This is too much. He needs to leave. Now. Right now. He realizes he has no answer. What would he say? He realized his faults? He wants to be a better person?

Jeongguk chuckles bitterly realizing how hollow it sounds. How hollow it might sound to Taehyung, who had been wronged all throughout. Jeongguk knew his mistakes would come back to haunt him in the future. Taehyung's eyes hold a storm none of them can find a way out of.

Jeongguk can say nothing as he looks back at him. He doesn't know how long they spend like that, chests heaving up and down, with so many unsaid things left hanging in the air. Jeongguk watches as Taehyung resigns himself slowly, eyes closing momentarily. Jeongguk feels numb. They both know he doesn't have any answers. The argument will always stop here. Everytime.

It is when Taehyung pulls back, Jeongguk notices it. The slashes across his wrist. Almost fading, but still there. So many. It was then he realized why Taehyung always wore full sleeved clothes, a habit that he started to hide them, but never grew out of, even when they had faded over the years.. Everything around him seems to slow down and stop momentarily, until he can only focus on those scars, until he can only hear his own heart beat erratically. He doesn't realize when he holds Taehyung's wrist, pulling him back. Only thing he can see are those scars. Those scars which he inflicted.

Jeongguk rubs his fingers slowly over them, unaware of Taehyung's horrified eyes. He did that. Jeongguk feels the words hitting him like a truck. He did that. The words chant in his head over and over again. He steps back, leaving his wrist, as his vision blurs. His fingers shake, as he pulls back, eyes still focused on those faded scars.

"Did you hear? That boy committed suicide."

"Jeon Jeongguk pushed him to his death."

"What a monster!"

"Jeon Jeongguk killed him."

Jeongguk's back hits the wall again, and he slouches down. He hears Taehyung say something, but his voice fades, replaced by the countless voices inside his head. Taehyung's bruised face flashes in front of him, the eyes which had lost its light. All because of him.

You failed me gguk. Namjoon's voice echoes inside his head and Jeongguk feels his heart shatter into a million pieces all over again.

"Taehyung..." his voice breaks, as he looks up to Taehyung's eyes, who has crouched in front of him, with worried eyes in the meantime. "I- I am so sorry"

He watches as Taehyung goes absolutely still, eyes widening. His face has lost its color, and he watches him, absolutely frozen in his tracks. Tears fall freely, as he looks up meeting his eyes. Jeongguk makes a decision then. He knows he can do more to change the past. But he does know something he can do to change what is in store for them in the future. Maybe this one small step he takes can soothe some of Taehyung's pain. Even if it was too late.