Out of my League

019

C h a p t e r    1 9

{ Couple...? }

{song#18: Kiss Me by One Direction }

The second our lips touched I felt butterflies enveloping my stomach. I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with his hair while he pulled me closer in my the waist. He was smiling through the kiss and it made me blush more. 

He kissed me softly at first but it soon became passionate, trying to send me all the emotions he had for me with a mere kiss, and it seemed like he couldn't do it. He continued for a while and I did the same until both of us had to stop to catch our breath.

I think a sudden realization hit the both of us as we immediately backed away from each other. I looked up at him with a very deep blush on my cheeks and surprisingly he had that same blush on his face as well. We were silent for a while just trying to process what happened but then I suddenly got up, immediately regretting it because his attention went straight to me again.

"Um, I think I should go now, it's getting late and I don't want to burden you any longer," I say looking down at my feet too shy to look at him in the eyes.

"No, please don't leave," he said making me look up at him immediately. There was an intensity between us that I have never felt before. The second those words left his mouth I really did want to stay, but I wanted to stay forever. I wanted to stay forever with him and honestly that scared me so much.

However, I sat on the couch beside him looking at my feet as we were both quiet. I looked at him and sighed realizing we should talk this out.

"I like you," I said shockingly and smiled slightly, "I liked you for a while, but Mira always existed and then Malai and I just didn't know how to tell you and I knew you liked them and I just," I stopped about to cry making me frown at myself. Why are you being so emotional? My head told me. It is so embarrassing, why are you making him worried about you? 

He then took my hand in his, "you just what?"

I breathed out a shaky breath and wiped a tear, "I just thought I wasn't good for you. You are way out of my league. How could someone as rich, as good looking, and kind like you date an average, not that good looking, quiet, and not that wealthy girl like me?"

He then immediately took me in his arms and I broke down. I always wanted to be someone confident, someone that no one could hurt, someone that wouldn't care about others and what they think. However, I was the opposite. I cared so much up to the point where my insecurities got me, where I couldn't be myself. I wish I could be confident in my own skin and love myself completely, but I just couldn't. Especially after coming here, seeing such pretty and confident girls, always being a second choice to the guy I like, I realized I felt worse.

"You know, beauty standards are messed up and just because you aren't as rich doesn't mean you are worse. Every person is beautiful and is valuable, no one is ugly, no one is better than someone else, we are all humans. We all end up being brought to the same place and leaving this place the same way, so why the hell are some people considered better. To me, you are amazing, beautiful, one of the smartest people I know, and so talented. You make me learn something new about myself and about life every single day. You make me laugh and smile, something I barely used to do. You made me change in a good way, you helped Thyme, you helped F4. Now I hope I can help you, and I can help you see yourself the way that I see you," Ren said while hugging me tightly and patting my back, "and if I didn't make it obvious, I like you too," he said smiling brightly.