𝐁𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐑

7 | demonic thoughts

"Aafton ke dour mein chain ki ghadi hai tu."
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The grief of losing her was numbing his senses as he closed his eyes. It hasn't been a single day and here, he was a mess. A mess of chaos and longing. His heart felt like it was on fire. Buring with the intensity unknown to his own sanity.

The thundering clouds seemed to have taken it upon them to pour down his emotions in the form of precipitation. His heart lurched the moment his thought wandered to her. It hurts.

The numbness - it was eating him alive, making him feel as if he's dying every second of the moment. The slow and painful death where he wanted to live yet die for the one he'd loved, he lost.

He closed his eyes as he recited the verses of Quran. His lips wobbled as he closed his eyes, reciting Surah Rehman, his heart craving the inner peace that he so desperately needed.

His heart crying for the love of his Allah, the almighty, the most powerful, the one who'd made him, his heart, filled it with love and care.

There's no power superior than that of Allah, his will indeed is the most powerful of everything.

Kehte haina ki Allah ko raazi kar liya tou kisi aur ko raazi karne ki zaroorat nahi. Woh parwardigaar hai, woh Rehman-o-Raheem hai, usskay ik ishaare pe sab mumkin hai.

But the way his story unfolded gave him signs, signs of not being the one on the winning end in this game of love.

Hadn't it been for the love of his life, he would've puller her to him and caged her in his arms for the rest of their lives. If only she had given him consent.

But the guilt rendered deep in the pit of his heart as the cold air brushed past him.

The guilt of ruining her faith in him, the guilt of bidding on her, the guilt of claiming her as his mashooka for the rest of her life in front of the entire kotha. The guilt of breaking her trust, the guilt of backstabbing her.

But could it be possible to let her slip away from him, in front of his eyes, and handed over to someone who knew no values, no morals ? He loved her with everything in him, the silent beating of his heart confirmed his undying mohabbat for her.

He'd been infatuated by her since the very start but the slow and gradual change in his heart, the sudden feelings rendered The Faris Mir speechless. He was at loss of words, being a shayar himself, he was at loss of the most accurate alfaaz that could describe, explain, what he truly felt for her.

"Ya Rab, meri mushkilon ko aasan karna." He murmured as he blowed air over his palm before gliding the softness of his over his noorani chehra.

His eyes were closed, basking in the warmth, the love for his Khuda. The one and only who'd always be there for you, no matter what.

"Kaash koi raasta hota jo main tum se apne iss dil ka haal bayan kar paata, Benazir. Dil tou iss qadar sharmindah hai ki main tumse bolne tak ki bhi himmat nahi rakhta." He whispered as a drop of the mixture of pain and feelings, the sufferings, rolled down his eyelashes.

The voicemail made his heart bleed, he had been dying to contact her now that Naila had been helping him but this inner part of him, stopped him.

He couldn't face her due to the guilt.

How would he make her accept him when he himself couldn't get over the fact that he had bought her.

He closed his eyes as a string of demonic thoughts danced in his mind, crueling his heart and mind in it's way.