Ruthless Girlfriend | Bbangsaz

Chapter 18: Remedy

Minji

A year and a half later…

It's one of those perfect, bright, sunny days where the sky is cloudless and the birds are singing above. The waves slam against the rocks, shooting water up onto the wooden dock as seagulls fly low for a chance to catch some fish.

South Carolina is drastically different from the Boston lifestyle I was living. Staying at a beach house just along the Edisto shore is just what I needed. After spending months living in the clouds again, Lucas nearly forced me to take a vacation. Go somewhere to make new memories, he'd said. Allow yourself to feel happy, Danielle encouraged. Deep down, I knew they were right. I knew they wanted me to move on, but the desire to meet someone new just wasn't there. Her memories still held so close inside me.

I walk up to the lighthouse, interested to see what's inside, if anything at all. It was just outside my rental house and my interest was piqued enough to finally walk out here and find out for myself.

The wooden door isn't locked so I push it open, slowly and cautiously. It creaks, but once inside, it's completely silent. A wooden staircase curls all the way up to the top, not looking particularly sturdy, but I chance it anyway and begin climbing.

I'm relieved when I finally make it to the top, getting a full view of the shore and land. It looks so peaceful, and I can't help thinking of Hanni, every second of every day wishing she was here to experience this all with me. Even though she's not here physically with me, I sometimes feel her presence.

Before losing Tris, I never believed in any kind of afterlife or spirits. It wasn't until Tris passed that I became highly aware of the feelings that would wash over me when I'd be in a certain room of the house or driving by her favorite park. I always assumed it was the memories and pain that kept her alive in my heart, but it was always something more.

Now with Hanni, I feel it even stronger. She lives within my heart, but the grief never lessens. If anything, it feels heavier and heavier each day. My chest tightens, the room spins, and my throat goes dry. Whether it's an anxiety attack or just my inability to let go, I don't know.

But I can say without a doubt, in the depths of my heart and soul, that meeting Hanni was fate. It was more than fate. I can't explain it, but we were meant to meet one another. The universe brought us together and although her life ended much too soon, and I was left here once again, I know deep down there was a reason.

Whether it was that I needed her or she needed me, it was inevitable. Our souls were destined and the moment she said "I Do," I felt it. I knew she was for me, even if it didn't end happily for me. I'll always have our memories and that's something I can hold onto.

I took a month off after her funeral. I needed time. It never feels like enough, but eventually, I had to get back to my life, my job, my friends. I'm on autopilot most days, but keeping my promise to Hanni, I gave myself permission to grieve for one year. One year and then I was to move on, stop being sad, let go.

Hell, it's been longer than that, but it was her dying wish, so at least I'm trying. Once I told Lucas and he told Danielle, they helped me pick the perfect getaway destination. Somewhere not too 'couple-y' or flooded with families with children. I wanted quiet, quaint, and with a view.

So here I am in Edisto Island, South Carolina, in a rental beach house on the shore of Edisto Beach with the letter she wrote burning inside my pocket. It's still sealed to this day, and I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to open it.

The only noises are the birds and water. It's just what I asked for and yet, it's somehow too quiet.

Perhaps I need to find a bar. Get a drink and meet some of the locals. Or even a gym. I could use a good workout.