The Spider And The Stag Aren't So Different

Vaggie banged on the bathroom door. "Quit hogging the bathroom, you cheesy talk show shitlord! Some of us need to shower!"

There was a line outside the bathroom at the Hazbin Hotel, consisting of everybody except for Husk. Charlie and Vaggie were in fluffy bathrobes, waiting to use the shower, while Angel Dust and Niffty were waiting for the toilet. For the past half hour, the bathroom had been occupied by Alastor, and he'd rushed to it in a hurry after barely touching his breakfast.

"I'm sorry for keeping you all waiting, my dears. I shouldn't be too much longer. I"—

There was a sharp static shriek, followed by wretching, and the sound of something hitting the bottom of the toilet. Charlie recoiled, knowing that that something was probably vomit.

Angel Dust knocked the door. "You ok in there, Al? You don't sound like your usual self."

"Never better, my effeminate friend!" the radio demon responded, though it sounded like his response was coming through gritted teeth, "I'm merely...Oh my, how unsightly of me! This will never do..."

Charlie shook her head, starting to worry about the radio demon. "You don't sound fine at all! We're coming in!"

Charlie had the door open before Alastor could protest. The radio demon was bent over the toilet, shaking like a leaf, and he didn't have his tailsuit, or shoes on, just his undershirt and pants. His ears were folded back against his head, like a frightened doe's.

Angel Dust pushed everyone aside, bending down beside Alastor. "Two questions for ya, smiles. One, why do you look like shit? Two, why's the toilet full of radio static?"

Vaggie recoiled at the acidic stench in the room. "Are you...Do you puke radio static?"

Niffty fluttered inside next, pressing her hand against her master's forehead. "Oh my, Alastor, you're burning up! We should get you to a hospital! I know a very good one! They'll fix you right up with a smile!"

The stag demon tore off a square of toilet roll, using it to wipe his mouth. "Niffty, darling, that's thoughtful of you, but I can't risk anyone seeing me in a weakened state. Not even..."

He didn't get time to finish, as he immediately had to turn back to the toilet to finish puking. The sound was like radio static mixed with someone dropping a bowl full of jello.

"How about we help you to your room so you can lie down?" Charlie offered gently, "Niffty, can you go fetch an ice pack? He'll need something to get that fever down."

Niffty nodded like she was trying to shake her head off. "Yes, right away! We'll get you feeling all better in no time, Alastor!"

Angel Dust put an arm around the radio demon's waist. "I'll carry him to his room. I've got two pairs of arms, so it'll be easier for me."

Alastor's ears flickered, and he backed away from the sudden touch. "I appreciate the offer, but there's no need, my effeminate friend," he said quickly, using a towel rack to pull himself to his feet, "I'm perfectly capable of walking there myself"—

The stag demon's knees buckled, and Angel Dust rushed to catch him before he met a painful, bruising landing on the tiled floor.

"Or maybe you aren't," the spider demon huffed, slinging Alastor's arm over his shoulder.

The radio demon's ears flattened against his head. He loathed to admit it, but there was no way he was getting back to his room by himself when he was in this state. "Oh dear...Maybe I'm not fit to walk myself there after all..."

"Right, so are you gonna let me help you now?" Angel Dust huffed.

Alastor nodded weakly, not having any other choice. "If you wouldn't mind so terribly, my friend."