15, Fallen

3

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was my birthday sleepover.

Jacqui and the girls came over and were impressed, so happy.

I’m now in the group, I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement.

Will keep you updated on things that will be happening now.

Olivia, Xo

It was funny how I never wrote in the diary again, all the pages from that day on are blank and I know why. There were just too many events and It felt I had outgrown that stage but now I saw myself sitting cross legged on my bed and staring right at the next blank page of the bright red book that had been hidden far inside the confines of my wardrobe away from curious and prying eyes.

My diary had always been the place I could vent things about life and feel better about later onwards just like mum had suggested. She had got it for me two years before we moved down here after the whole process of mum falling in love with Mark. I skimmed through the other pages before the last entry, taking in the other entries and remembering things clearly.

Dear Diary,

Nearly time for the wedding and I’m getting more annoyed by the second, I have to meet all these relatives of Mark and also deal with his obsessed daughter who I will be calling my stepsister soon.

Nearly everyday mum hauls both of us into the car Mark bought her and drives us down to the Market Street with the array of bridal stores and other wedding planning outlets so she can try on countless things and force us to both comment. Of course Avalon plays along with an annoying level of enthusiasm while I grunt out a sound of approval now and then.

I’ve also had to get pins stuck into me while the tailor was measuring me for the dress. Mum had chosen lavender dresses which was the colour I hated the most but tried my best to hide and Avalon simply cried with excitement, gushing on and on about how she loved the colour so much and couldn’t wait to wear the actual dress.

I feel like locking myself in my room and screaming into my pillow for five hours straight, but for the time being I have to share a room with Avalon due to my mother’s ideas of helping both of us get used to each other. I can’t stand her at all with her big owl glasses, black hair done in two messy braids and her silver covered teeth always shining.

Two beds squeezed into a small space and a wardrobe spilling with clothes. I hate imagining that my clothes might touch hers, which are all bright with wordings while mine are more mature considering mum and I have similar tastes.

Avalon’s bed is completely covered by stuffed animals and dolls which she sees nothing wrong with and she has posters of Disney princesses on her wall which are completely disturbing and childish, but I have to keep my comments to myself according to mum.

Love, Seriously Frustrated Olivia, X

Tears rose to my eyes and I refused to cry. I hadn’t heard anything from my friends at school and nobody had bothered calling to give me the details of the aftermath at the festival but I felt like I couldn’t be bothered, there was a fear deep within me that made me feel like something bad was coming. I wished I had my mum right here to nag me about cleaning my room like she always used to, but instead my mother has become nothing but a sleeping beauty confined to a room at the hospital and surrounded by beeping machines.

Fear gripped me once we entered the emergency room and I couldn’t help but break down thinking the worst had befallen my mother. I found out she wasn’t dead but she was in a deep sleep and nobody knew when she was going to return. They just had to keep checking up on her until she was fully recovered.

Mum had bandages everywhere but her face was uncovered and her eyes were closed shut. I whispered and hoped she could hear me but there was no reply, I had never felt so lonely before. I stroked her silky dirty blond hair and wished hard that she would just wake up and we would go home but after a few minutes felt discouraged. Mark drove both of us home and there was an eerie silence in the car. Nobody knew what to say to make the other feel better and we both dealt with it in our own ways.

I heard Mark’s voice from downstairs and crawled out of my room to listen to what he was saying. He was glued to the phone and seemed to have suffered greatly from hearing the news about mum. There were bags under his eyes and he looked unkempt with a hoarse voice conversing with the person on the other side of the line.

‘’ Karen, just give Avalon the phone. She’s my daughter after all!’’

‘’ You better bring my daughter back to me, I’m tired of the way you are keeping her hidden from me like I’m a monster,’’

‘’ She needs to be back before next week Karen or I’m coming there myself to get her. Madeline’s in a coma and we don’t know If we’ll ever have her back again, stop making things more difficult than they already are,’’ He said before putting the phone down. He walked back to the lounge with his head down and shoulders slumped and I knew he was taking this as badly as I was.

However the thought of Avalon coming back was what scared me the most.