The Summer We Changed

grief sucks

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The sound of a winning arcade machine drew Jewel out of her thoughts, but Thanksgiving break still swirled in the back of her mind.
"You're up next, Jewel." Belly's voice spoke suddenly, reminding her of their boardwalk showdown. Her eyes glanced toward Jeremiah, too bothered by past memories to allow herself to let go for a moment.
"You know, my stomach kind of hurts from the ice cream and running around. You and Conrad should go first." Jewel suggested, needing a moment alone to settle herself down. Steven's eyes shifted toward Jere, seeing the same distant look in his eyes that Jewel held. It was easy to see now that mentioning Thanksgiving was a mistake, one he had regretted as he watched Jewel mix herself into the arcade's crowd.
"Hey, I'll catch up with you guys. I'm gonna call mom and see how her event's going." Steven told them, Belly nodding as they began toward the exit. Jeremiah reluctantly followed, watching as Steven followed Jewel's path. He had followed her path to a claw machine, the girl growing upset as it yet again ate her token with nothing to give in return.
"You know these things are scams, right?" Steven asked, a hint of amusement in his tone as Jewel sighed.
"Yeah, I know." She sighed, forcing herself to part ways with the game.
"How come you didn't want to watch Shoot Your Shot?" He questioned, watching as Jewel shrugged in response.
"I just don't really feel good." She excused, unaware of Steven's eyes rolling in return.
"Yeah, I don't really believe that." He admitted, slightly amused with a chuckle that prompted a small smile from Jewel. A moment of silence washed over the two as they moved toward an unoccupied bench, their eyes gazing out over the crowd of faces before them.
"I'm sorry about mentioning Thanksgiving, I forgot that it's a...sore topic." Steven apologized, remembering how hard it had been for him when Shayla had broken off their relationship.
"It's not that." She lied once more, a part of her wondering whether it was still a 'sore topic' for Jeremiah.
"I know I'm not Conrad or Belly...but I'm here. I'm listening." Steven reassured her, a message Jewel hadn't known she had been needing to hear. She let out a sigh as she picked her head up, shrugging to herself as she struggled to explain.
"Every time I'm reminded of Thanksgiving, it just makes me think of Susannah. How I should've spent more time with her before..." Jewel spoke, cutting her sentence short when tears began to pool against her waterline. Still she refused to cry in public, blinking away her tears as Steven nodded in understanding.
"I get it..." He admitted, "...but maybe you also need a reminder that we all feel the same, you know? All of us wish we would've been there more. That we should've spent more time with her before it happened. Grief sucks...and nobody handles it perfectly."
Jewel nodded in response to his reminder, knowing that he was considered the brains of the family for a reason.
"Nobody expects you to handle it perfectly." Steven told her, his arm moving around her shoulders to allow her a small hug.
"The only thing you're allowed to be upset about today is when our team wins." He told her, a light laugh escaping Jewel before she scoffed.
"Please, Belly's got it in the bag." She retaliated, picking herself up from the bench before Steven did the same.
"How about we get something to drink and wait for them to get back?" He offered, knowing she needed a moment to not only recollect her emotions, but her thoughts too.
"Thank you, Steven." She told him, grateful that she hadn't been left alone with her thoughts inside of the stuffy arcade.
"Yeah, whatever, don't make it all sentimental." He laughed, guiding Jewel toward the concession stand.