Show Me That Which I Cannot See

PT III: Elaha

I blinked at my phone through blurry eyes. Once. Twice. Why was I up so early on a Saturday? My eyes caught on a notification from yesterday.

Oh.. Suddenly last nights phone call with Vessel came flooding back. His awkward laughs, the moments of silence where he seemed to be at peace just on the phone with me... Or you could just be making this up and he felt indebted to you that's why he was so dry. I numbly walk to the bathroom to prepare to shower trying to keep my delusions at bay.

After my shower, I sift through my closet while keeping one eye on the time as I try to figure out what to wear. Dress? No, too formal. Just sweatshirt and yoga pants? No, too casual. Scrubs? Ha.ha, very funny. Finally, I settle on a black sweater and jeans paired with a deep green hijjab. I check the time 7:30 am. That leaves me thirty minutes to get to their practice site.

-.--.-

I nervously drum my fingers on the steering wheel of the car. The closer I get to the location the more anxious I get. Realistically speaking, I don't even know these people. As a woman in STEM who played violin back in the day, I have zero artistic talent and not only could I make a fool of myself but I could put their reputation at risk. Just the thought of it makes me break out into a cold sweat. "Okay" I tell myself, "I'll go in, say hello and then tell them I can't do this and leave." I nod vigorously and force my heart to stop racing. Let's do this.

The moment I walk through the door, all my thoughts of leaving vanish. I see Vessel pacing near the door reciting something to himself and IV catches site of me his 'hello Elaha!" makes Vessel stiffen and turn around. I feel him assess me through his mask as his lips move to say something but III cuts him off. "Vessel didn't do shit yesterday to work on the choreography so me and IV did the honors." II pokes his head out of his studio and rolls his eyes as he waves at me. I shyly wave back, they're so kind. I just don't deserve it. "Should I be scared that you two wrote it out?" IV lets out an obnoxious cackle and my catches Vessel staring at me. Sometimes he's hard to read, does he like to talk to me or does he pity me? The others file out to the main room to wait for us. Vessel approaches me and awkwardly shakes my hand, as soon as the heat of his hand touches mine I struggle to fight the blush creeping up my face. God, I really must be so touch deprived if shaking his hand makes me blush.

He lets go and silently gestures to the main room. I suddenly remember my manners and look to him nervously, "thank you for letting me come here and for the invite." His lips curve up slightly in a half smile as he holds the door open, I think I hear him say, "the pleasure is mine."

-.-.-

II sits and watches like a parent babysitting as III and IV try to teach to me the chicken scratch they have on their paper. "So the lyric plays where he says 'we were tangled up like branches in a flood." III pulls Vessel over to me and IV tries to weave my arm in between Vessel's while he would have one hand free for the microphone. "and then you guys would entangle your hands for a few seconds like this." IV explains and I try to hold in my laughter at the expression on their face. The lilt of Vessel's accent catches my attention as he nervously says something to II who just pushes him back. III snaps his fingers "focus mates, focus!" He pulls Vessel back "now for these lyrics:' I'd turn my walls to gold, to bring you home again.' we could either do something with gold or have Elaha moving away from Vessel as he extends his hand." IV snorts "no, that's the part where he kisses me." I stifle a laugh at their playful banter. Vessel shakes his head, "you're fucking up my lyrics man." I turn to say something to Vessel but he moves his hand that was holding mine to tuck a stray strand of my hair back into my scarf.

I blush as he stares intently, "your hair was showing." I catch movement under his mask as his hands drop to rest on my scarf. "Thank you." He nods. "What do you think we should do." I look to III and IV who are placing bets on something related to us and then to II who says "go on, don't be shy kiddo."

I turn to look back at Vessel, whose hands are still on my scarf, " I...I'm not sure, the idea is there I think we should work a little on it to not take away the meaning and feeling of the lyrics. I can come in and out at certain times to add to the performance at specific lyrics." Vessel nods his head. II gives me a smile. "Vessel, I'm pretty sure if she said to do something ridiculous you would have agreed either way." "and now Vessel won't mess around with me on stage." IV whines as he plucks his guitar strings.

"No, no I'm sure he wouldn't guys. I'll go home and think of something after my shift at the hospital, I promise." I wiggle my pinky at them and they mockingly act insulted before agreeing. I still feel Vessel's hand on me scarf as he asks quietly, "you plan to continue this with us?" Oh, he has me there. I didn't think that I would but after spending time with them and seamlessly fitting with their group dynamic, I think I like it. I enjoy the energy and their friendship, constantly working in the hospital and having to study has left me with little to no friends and I ache for the friendship and support they have for each other. "Of course, unless of course you don't want me." I laugh nervously. He finally lets go of me, "of course we do."

"Don't worry he's usually not this dramatic, I think you've scared him." II says as he puts his drum set away. III and IV come by me, "let's go get lunch together." III says as IV whispers in my ear, "did you notice Vessel looks like he might pass out?" III smirks "then come with us so we have more help carrying him back here." I laugh with them and how accepting they are. Part of the reason why I was nervous in the car earlier was because I'm a Muslim though most of the people are accepting, I was worried that they would see me differently because of the restrictions I have. "Vessel, do you think I should come with you guys?" I ask, he's been so quiet, I can't tell if he's uncomfortable or just quiet in general. "Of course, we'll go somewhere you can eat Halal as well." Oh, if you keep saying things my delusional self will become obsessed with you.

III dangles the car keys "we'll go with the motorcycle's to get food." I smile and follow them all out as Vessel's shoulders gently brush against mine. "You didn't have to come with us." I slow my pace, "why would you say that? I've...It's been my dream to meet you guys, but to be as friends not as a fan." He nods thoughtfully. "I mean of course if you consider me a friend." He looks at me, "I see the honesty in you, we are friends if you see a friend in me." My heart fluttered as I noticed that that I had to share a bike with one of them. Vessel gets in and motions for me to sit behind him. I blush and wrap my hands around his waist feeling his muscles tense beneath the sweater and hoodie they all put over their heads.

"Hang on tight" He murmurs. And I do. I can get used to this. I bury my head in his back as he drives, he feels like home.