Other Girls

I'm not like other girls

When I was 6 years old,

I used to envy the boys in my class because I wanted to have the freedom to run like they did

I wanted to play with toy guns instead of plastic dolls but my teacher told me,

"That's no way for a girl to play,"

But I did it anyways because i'm not like other girls

When I was 10,

I envied the boys in my school because I wanted to have the freedom to talk like they did,

no barrier to the words they let out,

I wanted to say the most vile things and not have to pay for it!

To have spit come out of my mouth everytime I said a word,

just because I was that free to say what I wanted

But my grandma told me,

"That's no way for a lady to speak,"

But I did it anyway because i'm not like other girls

When I was 13,

I was friends with only boys and we made fun of all the girls in my class

We hated when any of them said their favorite colour was pink,

because how unoriginal was it for a girl to like pink

One of the girls said to me,

"but boys could like cars and play video games, and no one would call it a cliché"

But I made fun of them anyways because i'm not like other girls

When I was 16 I liked a boy,

I hated the way he made me feel like a girl,

I wasn't supposed to feel this way yet when I passed by a trendy clothing store,

my eyes would dart to the pretty pink dresses

I'd run my fingers through the silky satin fabric,

and my hands would linger on the lacey hem,

zoning out on what I would like wearing it,

but instead I wore baggy jeans and a black oversized T-shirt on our first date,

and when he saw me he told me he liked me because i'm not like other girls

When I was 18 I got depressed and lost contact with my friends

I did grow closer with my sisters though,

they seem to annoy me less and less

I watched how excited one of them would get about her favorite boy band,

my first instinct would be to roll my eyes but the corners of my mouth couldn't help but curve upwards whenever I saw the glow in her eyes

I watched how my other sister would strum her pink guitar and saw how happy putting on makeup would make her

Not because she wanted to impress someone, but simply because she loved playing with bright colours and sparkly glitter

I watched as they laughed and danced around me in an effort to make me smile and suddenly a high pitched giggle escaped my throat as we joined hands and and started dancing in circles together

I would've hated to see me like this 3 years ago because I was supposed to be different...

I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT!

I felt this heavy weight on my chest something like guilt,

as if I've done something wrong

I stare in the mirror with the truth I have been holding in for so long,

I'm just like other girls.

I'm just like other girls...

I'm just like other girls