cracked panes

Chapter 1

She makes eye contact and, in a single instant, leaves, mumbles something about having to go, gives Hyunso a quick hug, and rounds the corner into the bathroom. A sigh of relief escapes her as she escapes, but it comes back as quickly as Wonyoung does.

Wonyoung steps closer looking as perfect as she always does. Her flats click against the tiles as she draws closer, her white dress swaying from the movement. When Wonyoung gets close enough for Yujin to see her well in the mirror behind the now-closed door, she notices the ribbon tying up a layer of hair in the back— really notices it. Wonyoung still looks like a dream.

Wonyoung smiles, acting like she didn't just catch Yujin trying to run away. Like always. "Hi."

"Hi." Yujin says it like she's seeing a ghost.

She knows Wonyoung is there with Sunghoon, saw them together near the exit as they waved Wonyoung's parents goodbye. That's why the two of them are in the bathroom at all, because Wonyoung decided to glance over her shoulder as if she could feel Yujin's eyes on her.

Yujin is glad Wonyoung is seeing her for the first time in however long while she's also in a dress, a black one that's about the same mid-thigh length, and is wearing concealer to hide the bags under her eyes—which aren't constricted or dilated at the moment—and the fine-lined tattoo that still swirls up her left arm. Maybe that's how Wonyoung easily holds her gaze so easily. Yujin looks put together for once, smiling like they were still Wonyoung and Yujin instead of Wonyoung and Yujin.

She only looks presentable because they went out to dinner after the ceremony. All of it is just so scary. Another graduation, but this time the fear of the future couldn't be quelled by Wonyoung's whispers and warm touches. Yujin is supposed to go get a job with her Bachelor's now but it doesn't feel like it. She's not ready to be a real adult who isn't allowed to fall apart on a whim.

"Um, sorry." Yujin turns to the sink and runs the water, washing her hands quickly as if that's the reason she came into the bathroom in the first place.

Wonyoung draws even nearer. "It's been so long. It's nice to see you." Is it? How come? She resists asking either of those things, because somehow when it comes to Wonyoung she can resist but when it comes to everything else in the world she shatters .

Wonyoung's footsteps retreat and Yujin's heart sinks down to her stomach. It seems like Wonyoung is really all moved on until a click resounds. Yujin's turns to see Wonyoung's hand was back on the lock of the bathroom door, then watches her return to where she was, closer yet again.

"How's Azzo doing?" Wonyoung is unwontedly good at pretending like things are normal. It makes Yujin's eyes sting.

"He's good." Without thinking she adds, "You should visit him sometime." The corners of her lips also shift without her forcing them to.

This feels dangerous, the feeling of strange bubbles in her stomach she got when she and Wonyoung first met years and years ago in that office. Now she knows what the feeling really means and what it could become if she allows it to grow.

Wonyoung's smile turns from something soft into something knowing. "How are you doing?" She feels it too. Of course she does.

"Fine." Yujin smirks to hide the pain, feigning ignorance to the exact implication of her words. "How are you?"

"You aren't fine." The worst part is that she's right—Yujin's lying. She's been doing worse. Yet together Yujin risked sinking Wonyoung everyday. She did a few times, by drowning her in tears. "You can't lie to me."

"I'm good."

Wonyoung draws closer, one hand on either side of Yujin as she licks her lips, eyes leaving Yujin's only to dart down. "Ok, you're good." There is an unmistakable sincerity in her tone. "You really are."