Healing Over Time

Chapter Nine

Eight weeks after Lee's death.

A knock on the door made Alex walk out of her bathroom and look to see who was in her bedroom, even though she knew.

"Hey," Kayce gave her a small smile.

For the past week, every night when Kayce would either get off work or come in from the barn, he would walk up to Alex's bedroom and get her. They'd walk down, see what was left over from Gator's meal, and either eat on the back porch or near the fireplace in one of the living rooms. It was getting colder now so their days of outside eating were probably over.

They hadn't spoken of the kiss since it happened. Nothing like it had happened since either. Kayce and Alex would just talk...about their families, their jobs, this place they called home. A few times they wouldn't talk, but just sit there next to each other while they finished their suppers.

Kayce's eye danced down to the scrubs Alex still had on.

"I just got home, we got slammed with a car accident right before and I needed to stay and help," Alex shrugged apologetically. "Give me like five minutes? I just need to shower off real quick."

"Sure," Kayce nodded, glancing around her room. "Take your time."

"Make yourself comfortable," Alex waved her hand. "It's technically your house anyways."

"Not mine," Kayce slowly walked inside and sat down on the edge of the bed.

He heard the shower turn on as he glanced at the dresser between the bathroom and closet. On top was a photograph. Kayce frowned, standing up to get a closer look at it. It was a photo of Alex and Lee, his arm around her shoulders as they both looked at the camera. Kayce could see the mountains in the background and it was probably taken around this time last year.

He didn't hear the shower cut off, or Alex walked back inside the room in a pair of clean jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt. She looked at what Kayce was looking at and sighed.

"Sorry," Kayce muttered, feeling caught.

"Don't be," Alex shook her head. "Just a memory now."

Kayce looked over at her.

"You don't ever talk about him," Kayce told her.

"I guess I don't know what to say," Alex shrugged. "Especially to you."

"Why's that?" Kayce frowned.

"Because he's your brother?" Alex said, even though she heard the lie in her words. "I know y'all didn't have the best relationship in the end...I don't know...there's a lot to unpack there and sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing this right."

"Doing what right?" Kayce asked.

"Being the grieving loved one," Alex sighed.

"Grief doesn't come with a playbook," Kayce shook his head. "It's different for everyone and there's no right way to do it."

"How do you do it?" Alex looked at him. "How do you grieve Lee?"

Kayce thought for a moment as Alex watched him. His arm came up to rest on the dresser, next to the photograph. He glanced at it before looking back at Alex.

"I uh...saw him die," Kayce's voice was rough. "I guess that is how I was able to...move forward? I got my closure because I was...there."

"Closure isn't the same as grief," Alex said. "Seeing his casket being lowered into his grave was my closure, hearing you tell me the truth about what happened was my closure...but that doesn't mean I still shouldn't grieve."