In Love With Love

Chapter one : All I Want

(Mb for grammatical mistakes)
Sarah Victor

Its's no mystery, anyone that know me knows I love lovey dovey things. Books, stories, videos, series, movies. I don't care. I just love it. Which is ironic because I've never fallen in love. You'd think the person who's obsessed with finding "the one" would actually look for them but I haven't.

To me, there's just not any good options where I live. I want someone, attractive and sweet, who overall just fits my standard. Which definitely doesn't describe the boys in my school. So I never really tried.

Sometimes I cry because of it. I have no friends the least I could do is find a boyfriend. But no one even talks to me. Which is sad. So I cry, in the shower, in bed, anytime I'm alone really.

I feel stupid for thinking there's someone out there for me. Even when I don't want to think it I still do. So I do have a little hope.

Though one thing I never understood was why the people who don't want love,  find it. And the ones that do, die alone. I recently watched this movie called "All but what I want." It's about a girl, just like me who is so desperate to fall in love. Except she dates so many guys and they are all failed attempts, but her best friend finds the love of her life and then end up marrying each other and being happy.

The original girl. The main character was happy for her friend but even when she tried she still found herself alone. So she wondered why. It was not because she wasn't good enough, or she's ugly. No not at all, but because no one deserved her. So she grew old, and died alone. While her best friend was having the time of her life.

I shed tears watching the movie. Keep in mind that her best friend, was not even interested in finding her soulmate in fact she laughed at the fact. But the main girl who did, died alone.

How is that fair?
How can you want something so bad and the person who laughs at its face gets it? Was it to prove the best friend wrong? To teach a lesson to the main character?

The question I ask is : what lesson?
That girl cried every night. Waiting for him to come and no one came. Why do good people suffer?

Thats what enrages me.