3 months 1 week 2 days and 8 hours since he died. Luke sat on the living room floor holding the engagement ring in his hand. He was supposed to get better. Ashton should have been here now. With the stupid lopsided smile that he always wore. He would probably be cooking something while Luke played his guitar. But everything's changed since then.
One guitar sits in a smashed pile while the other had collected some dust by now. Untouched by the blonde. The cupboards having cans on vegetables and stale crackers that don't get touched. The blonde went from being a healthy young adult to being probably the worst he's ever been. Even though he used to have an eating disorder he had never been this skinny. His cheeks looked carved out like he was from a Tim Burton movie.
Luke heard keys giggle in the lock but he didn't bother to see who was coming in. "Hunny you know he wouldn't want to see you sat on the floor looking like this. It's okay to hurt. But not like this. "Luke felt a lump form in his throat as his mom's words echoed through the empty apartment. He knew she was right, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It had been months since he had picked up his guitar, since he had bothered to eat a proper meal, since he had felt any sense of joy or purpose in his life. He glanced up at her briefly, taking in her concerned expression before dropping his gaze back to the floor. He knew he was a mess, but he couldn't find the energy to do anything about it.
The weight of his depression felt like a physical burden, weighing him down and making it difficult to even move. His mom stepped closer, crouching down beside him and resting a hand on his shoulder. "Luke, please talk to me. I know it's hard, but you can't keep doing this to yourself." Luke shook his head, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He wanted to talk to her, to let her in and share his pain, but the words felt stuck in his throat. It felt like if he didn't talk about it that somehow it was a bad dream.
"I can't talk about it. I just can't." The blonde felt a tear slip from his eye as he said those words. He couldn't talk about Ashton. He couldn't face the fact that the love of his life was dead. No one ever taught you how to live when something like this happens. Luke felt his mothers arms pulling him into her chest. "I know it feels stuck but please hunny you need to somehow to express these feelings because they will drive you mad."
That's where she was wrong. Because Luke had already gone mad.
(my mouse doesn't work so the layout might not be great right now. anywyas im shooting for around 500 words we chapter and at least 10 chapters i do still want to keep this a short story)
