ONE LAST TIME . . . heroes of olympus

48

KAT WISHED SHE had her phone. Maybe she should steal one from the nymphs, because holy shit she wants to cement this moment in her mind for forever.

Leo summoned some breath mints and a pair of welding goggles from his tool belt as if they were sunglasses. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He used some machine oil to grease back his hair, which was just disgusting. Kat would definitely make him take a shower later. He stuck a wrench in his back pocket ( why exactly, Kat wasn't sure ) and he had Hazel draw a tattoo on his biceps with a marker: HOT STUFF, with a skull and crossbones. Kat also drew a tiny pp on his arm, but he didn't know about it and she hoped he wouldn't know about it until later. It made her giggle.

"What in the world are you thinking?" Hazel asked, sounding pretty flustered.

"I try not to think," admitted Leo. "It interferes with being nuts. Just concentrate on moving that Celestial bronze. Echo, Kat, you ready?"

"Ready," said Echo.

"Ready to tease you about this for the rest of your life," agreed Kat.

Leo sent her a withering glare that honestly looked ridiculous with his makeover. He strutted back toward the pond. "Leo is the coolest!" he shouted.

"Leo is the coolest!" Echo shouted back.

"Yeah, baby, check me out!"

"Check me out!" said Echo.

"Make way for the king!"

"The king!"

"Narcissus is weak!"

"Weak!"

The crowd of nymphs scattered in surprise. Leo shooed them away as if they were bothering him. "No autographs, girls. I know you want some Leo time, but I'm way too cool. You better just hang around that ugly dweeb Narcissus. He's lame!"

"Lame!" Echo said with enthusiasm.

The nymphs muttered angrily.

"What are you talking about?" one demanded.

"You're lame," said another. Kat agreed with whoever that was.

Leo adjusted his goggles and smiled. He flexed his biceps, which honestly Kat had bigger biceps than him, and showed off his HOT STUFF tattoo. He had the nymphs' attention, if only because they were stunned; but Narcissus was still fixed on his own reflection.

"You know how ugly Narcissus is?" Leo asked the crowd. "He's so ugly, when he was born his mama thought he was a backward centaur — with a horse butt for a face."

Some of the nymphs gasped. Narcissus frowned, as though he was vaguely aware of a gnat buzzing around his head.

"You know why his bow has cobwebs?" Leo continued. "He uses it to hunt for dates, but he can't find one!"

One of the nymphs laughed. The others quickly elbowed her into silence.

Narcissus turned and scowled at Leo. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Super-sized McShizzle, man!" Leo said. "I'm Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy."

"Love a bad boy!" Echo said, with a convincing squeal.

Leo took out a pen and autographed the arm of one of the nymphs. "Narcissus is a loser! He's so weak, he can't bench-press a Kleenex. He's so lame, when you look up lame on Wikipedia, it's got a picture of Narcissus — only the picture's so ugly, no one ever checks it out."

Narcissus knit his handsome eyebrows. His face was turning from bronze to salmon pink. For the moment, he'd totally forgotten about the pond, and Kat could see the sheet of bronze sinking into the sand.