Larry Stylinson-We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

chapter 1

Harry's POV

Beep beep beep "Hey..Harry?you alright?" Louis answers in a loud voice.

I can hear he's in a club or somewhere like that.

And then..what?Harry?! Seriously? What about "haz"? Nevermind.

"Uhm..Louis? I was wondering if you m-maybe..could.." God! What's wrong with me?I cant even talk,all I can do is just crying. I'm so girlie sometimes.It sucks actually.

"Harry,I can't hear you properly maybe we could talk later huh? I'm a bit busy to be honest"

Wow. So he didn't even notice I'm crying,great.

"WellyouknowijustsplitupwithTaylorandijustdunnohowtofeelaboutitactuallyifeelsoaloneineedsomeonewhocanmakemelaughandmaybethatsomeonecouldbeyou?"

"Whaaaat?You split up with Tay? I'm really really sorry mate.You know,that happens sometimes. Maybe she was not the one for you..or I don't know..just don't think too much about it. Listen,I'm sorry but i gotta go now,El,Liam and Dani are waiting for me,so unfortunately i cant be that "someone". Anyways you know if you need me I'm here for you as always! Well.. I think i'll see ya around then..bye"

I just have time to say a short "bye" that he's not there anymore.

What the hell happened between us?

I think something has changed since we got THAT famous.

Someone says that I'm not being with my bandmates as I used to and now that I think about it maybe it's true..but I didn't really mean it.

I mean,they are my brothers!

How couldn't I love them like before?

I think the main point is that I met a lot of new people and maybe without even noticing they're are that much that I'm really always with at least one of them and not with the boys.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

The fact is that I really enjoy the company of my new friends,especially Rita,Cara and obviously Nick.

I hate myself.

I just feel like I'm ruin the band and that should be impossible.

One direction is everything to me,the fans are so important for us,we do really appriciate how they keep supporting our works,and the boys are just.. THE boys.

But let's focus on the fact I really felt hurt when Louis seemed so distant and he didn't want to come helping me.And more than everything,he called me Harry. Maybe I'm too paranoic,but Jesus,he never calls me like that.

Or maybe I was too selfish lately and I didn't notice he was different with me? Oh,fuck.

My life is a mess.

I don't know what to do,I don't even know why I split up with Tay.

She's such a cute girl and an amazing singer and all that stuff but I was already tired of our relationship.

I don't feel right at all,as I told Louis I need a friend with me right now.

It had no sense calling him,I've been stupid,I already knew I'm not that close to the boys anymore so what did I expect? 

Dammit.

I'm gonna call Nick,that cheeky wonderful lad. Maybe he can help me more than Louis.

...

Nick is not answering so I'm just gonna leave a message for him

"Hey youuuu! I need you I need you I need you hereee to fix my useless hearttttt please come to my house I'm waiting for youuu" i say singing.

Ahahah I think I'm really pathetic,alone in a february cold night in my own apartment.

But,hey,guess what? Nobody cares.

Now I'm not only pathetic,I'm really dramatically depressed.

Nick is not gonna come because he probably hasn't notice the message I left him...good. Let's go sleeping.

...

*Toc toc*

Who the hell could be at this our? 

And suddenly I think it could be one of the boys..I feel so happy that I jump down the bed running through the corridors.

I open the door and..Nick is in front of me.

In that moment I don't even think that I'm a bit deluded it's not one of the boys, I can just think how much Nick is always there for me. 

I feel lucky to have him.

I don't know how to feel about the fact that he's quickly becoming my best mate,should I feel sad because I'm so distant to the other boys? Or should I just be proud of the new people I met? Who knows.

What's obvious,I'm not the same as I was.

That tattoo "I can't change" is burning me in my mind.

It happened. I've changed.

And I don't think anyone could fix me.