Dawn |Minsung|

8

Tw's up ahead
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I thought I got rid of you, of this feeling but oh how wrong I was all along. You never left to begin with. How foolish I was to believe otherwise.
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I stumbled on my bed before everything turned black. I opened my eyes and I was back in that place again. The place I thought I had escaped.

My childhood home, the place of my fear. The place I was born and the place I tried all my life to escape.

I was in my room and I looked into the full body length mirror seeing myself disfigured, dismorphed. The version of myself I hated to see, the one I avoided to see.

The ugly thing I actually am. The disgusting faggot fat boy. The disgrace of the family. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I couldn't be bothered to keep them in.

I stared at the mirror before all my pain turned into anger and I punched and punched the mirror until it shattered, the glass stuck in my knuckles making them bleed but I didn't care.

"Jisung!" It was her, I know and fear that voice. It was the woman who gave birth to me. "You insulting, insolent child! Who's gonna pay for this mirror huh? You faggot?"

"You're a demon child. This means no dinner for you! To pay for the repairs of the mirror. Not like you'll need food anyways you're fat enough as it is. Clean this up." She spat voice void of emotions.

I nodded as I saw the disgust in her eyes. She glared at me. "Yes miss." She scoffed and walked out of the shabby room that I called my bedroom.

I was still crying and I took some tweezers to try and get the glass out of my knuckles but I don't think I ever got it all out to begin with.

I can still feel the shards of glass prick my skin. Cutting it further and further, I can feel them being stuck in my bones.

My hand still hurts sometimes this day, remembering it makes it hurt more.

I starved that night, I hadn't gotten food all day long and yesterday only in the morning.

It's cold in here, I almost freeze to death. The bed is hard and unsleepable. The woman who was supposed to be my mother hated me.

She was so pretty and I was so ugly of course she would hate me. "Wake up ugly. Breakfast is ready and cold so come eat it." She spoke so quietly that if I didn't hear it I would have no food.

This was her way to torment me. It's why I never sleep peacefully or deep. I have to be alert for the slightest creak in the door, crack of the old floorboards, the slightest gust of wind. I had to be actively involved with my surroundings for survival.

I quickly dashed out of my room for food. It was cold and soggy and not a whole lot, but I scarfed it down like it was a five star meal.

I was malnourished and abused. I knew that yet I couldn't run away. I had this strange sense that if I left she would be all alone and I didn't want to be the reason she was.

I didn't want her to be abandoned.

I ran away from the place that I've known all my life. I ended up on the streets for several weeks, starving, freezing, alone.

Somehow I ended up at the police station and they had asked me for my name and called my mom, well that's what they said.

"Ma'am we found your son on the streets."

"He's not my son. He ran away because I wanted to put him in an orphanage."

"But you're his biological mother." The police officer said astounded.

"Yeah so? I don't want him. This faggot caused me nothing but problems." She looked down at me. "At least he got a bit skinnier and isn't as fat anymore. Be careful before he becomes a pig again." She scoffed and walked away leaving me with the officer.

"I'm sorry kiddo, but don't worry you'll be in a better place now." Lies.

"Faggot."

"Mommy didn't want you."

"Unwanted piece of trash."

"Just die already."

"Nobody wants you."

It got stuck in my head, haunting me, killing me slowly each and everyday until the end of time.

Told ya it would be different, many plot twists