Let Me Love Him

XXIII.

Dan Wilson takes the ball from Ted and wrinkles painfully — the captain didn't calculate the force and threw too hard. Rain drops fall from the grey sky, the crowd screams loudly. The pale fingers clench on the ball and tremble so much that the next interception is even more difficult for him. Ted, in his blue helmet, with his captain's number, looks at him with a distinct glint of mockery in his eyes.

And then Dan sees the cheerleaders again. The eyes are stuck on the blue uniform, and Dan thinks "you're all so cool" because Mandy doesn't look at him anyway, and the inner insecurity is too strong.

And then it all just kinda becomes quiet — the dances and cheerleaders' screams mix with the crowd, Bullworth Academy leads the game, everything goes on as usual. Well, except for Johnny Vincent on the back of the bleachers.

"Since when does he go to the games?"

Mandy Wiles smiles with a crooked smile. She sounds so tired like she ran twenty laps around the stadium. Although, in fact, it's almost true.

Pinky frowns and looks at Mandy.

The first snow glitters on the street in silver. Winter comes quietly but palpably. Christy, of course, senses this cold wind.

Go, Bullworth, go!

The cold cuts to the bone and violently devours every shred of heat. Mandy paints strange images in the air and smiles a little.

Just a little.

Because there's no one to smile at.

Because none of them — Ted — deserves her smile. Mandy can only smile from the corners of her mouth because Johnny's here. But she's too focused, she's too in the game. She's too focused. Too focused.

Pinky touches her forehead with cold fingers and adjusts naughty dark strands of her hair. She might look strange right now. But her body is so light that she breathes much easier. Pinky has a light smile and snowflakes in her hair. Johnny's been quiet on the bleachers and barely watching the game, but she's really, really interested in what he's doing here. The cold rises up the skin and draws images on the wrists.

The images turn into blue and a foggy haze ripped from the spotlight. Ted Thompson scores a winning ball and sends smiles to cheerleaders.

"Don't look at him," Christy says.

Mandy is silent and breathes easily. Mandy doesn't want to look at him because she's afraid of getting burned.

And Pinky is standing there, and on the contrary, can not help but hide an unwanted smile.

Johnny is not looking, but he is here.

And he even shows up at a party after a football game, which is still not really his style, but everyone sees it — the preps are talking about it. Chad, Justin and Tad, they're stupid gossip.

Pinky sits down and hides the silk scarf in her small purse. The finger scratches the lock on her bad, the hands are disobeying for some reason, some strange enthusiastic feeling inside, but she doesn't understand. She doesn't understand until she sees black leather jackets in the crowd. There are few. There are only five.

Mandy's falling down the couch .

"You still here?" Christy shakes her head, looking at her friend. "I thought we were leaving. You didn't want to be at the football party, did you?"

The glass fills with alcohol, the lid flies aside, and Mandy, all calm, completely leans on the back of the sofa. She doesn't think at all about the footballers
and their victories. Mandy's just afraid to be alone in complete silence when everyone's having fun.