Demolition Lovers [ruby da cherry]

Imperfect Strangers

I sat in this dude's kitchen with my gun snug in my hands and a cup of coffee to my left, which sat untouched for the past thirty minutes. As he paced the room, calling his cousin nonstop, I tried to daydream about driving off into the night, never to be seen again. My thoughts kept being interrupted, however, each time the phone's speaker called out to "Please leave your message for-"

"Fuck!"

"Maybe he is dead."

"Yo, you realize you ain't the only one with a gun here, right?"

"And that's supposed to scare me?"

"Just keep quiet."

"Yes, officer," I said in a stereotypical girly voice, much different from my regular vocal fry and depressive manner of speaking. Oddy just shook his head and redialed. Again the phone rang and rang, almost sending me into a panic from the constant, drawn out noise.

Then, a man's voice could be heard. "Yyyyeah?"

"Bruh, the fuck is goin' on? I called your ass like twelve times."

"Well, the fuck. I can't tell you nun' about nun'."

"Where are you?"

"At my house, bro, the fuck? What you need?"

"Jus' needed to know you aight."

"Mmmmmmhmm. You good?"

He looked at me for a second, then back down to his phone. "I'm good, bro. Listen, you ain't with any girls or nothing, right? Or, like, did any hoes try to talk to you?"

"Uhhhhhhh... I mean, it always does. Right? But nah, I went home after talkin' to some kids for a lil' while."

"Alright, man, I'mma see you tomorrow."

"Bye," the man said, and Oddy hung up.

Annoyed, I audibly sighed. "So, now that that's done, can we move onto my thing?"

He sat down across from me at the table. "Yeah, give me a second."

His phone once again rang as he called his alleged friend who could allegedly help us out of this alleged situation. Unlike Mr. Actual Junkie, this guy picked up on the second ring. "Yo, Oddy, what's up?"

"Seth, listen, bruh, I got some shit goin' on. Someone put a fucking hit on me."

"What?"

"Yeah, listen, you needa come over, like, now. I'on wanna talk about it more on the phone."

"You ain't fuckin' with me, right?"

"It's October, bro. Not fucking April Fools."

"Alright, I'm on my way."

Once again, Oddy hung up. I shook my head, growing tired. I would have been on my way home by now. "You know, if you wanna kill me, go ahead. Another guy comin' here isn't gonna make it any more or less difficult."

"I already told you, neither of us gotta die."

"Right."

"You could be a little more fucking appreciative."

"Oh, right, sorry. Here, let me put the gun down and I'll come over there and I'll suck your fucking dick. Get outta here."

He stared at me for a second, his lips pressed together. I raised my eyebrows to silently ask what the hell was wrong with him. "I just meant to lose the attitude a little bit."

"You sick fuck," I started, making a disgusted face. "Isn't it gonna be embarrassing when your friend shows up and you have a huge fucking boner?"

"Thanks."