Two Arts

Chapter 36

A.N. Enjoy and smash that star button. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"How do you feel about seeing our family with us together?" I asked Sadie while we had breakfast on the day we were supposed to fly out.

She shrugged and loaded her fork with a big piece of scrambled eggs. I didn't bring attention to it, but I loved to watch her eat carelessly.

"I think I'm perfectly fine, you're the one who's avoided the topic with everyone," She pursed her lips and looked up at me pointedly. I was under the impression she might've felt hurt by that fact.

"I don't have much to say about us to our family that they don't already know—" I tried to defend myself.

"Amelia was constantly asking me if we were okay until she realized you're just not going to talk about me to her," Sadie pointed out.

"I—I don't love to feel vulnerable with my parents, they always make a big deal out of things—"

"They love you and want to feel involved," Sadie interrupted me, "Plus, they want to know you've set your mind on things..." She trailed.

"Do you think that me not telling them about you means that my mind isn't set on you?" I couldn't believe my own question.

Sadie shrugged, not even trying to hide her insecurity.

"I thought eventually you'd open up with them, but you didn't, so I don't know—maybe you're still deciding what you want and don't want to lead anyone on," She stared at her plate and started to divide her berries by color.

"Oh my God, Sades, no," I shook my head and sighed, "I'm sorry you thought that, it couldn't be further from the truth," I took one of her berries and put it in my mouth, with the intent of catching her eyes.

I was successful in getting her attention, so I added, "My mind is very set on you Sadie. Me not talking about it with my moms has to do with how nosy they can get and their expectations on everything, not you or how serious I feel about us."

She nodded and continued to hold my gaze.

"I messed up six years ago, and everybody knows that. I don't even know if I deserve to have you back, what if they don't think I do? They adore you, and I broke your heart once," I confessed my worries.

Sadie's eyes softened and she reached out to grab my hand, "You thought you were doing what was best for both of us, you were being more gutsy and responsible in a way," Her thumb brushed the back of my hand, "Everyone knows that you didn't break my heart anymore than you broke your own."

I nodded, I broke my own indeed.

I remembered well all of the pain and sorrow that came with the sense of needing to let Sadie go.

It was the most difficult thing I had never succeeded in doing.

I truly did think it was for both of our best interests, but what mattered to me was that it was supposed to be what was best for her. To give her the chance and opportunity to live her life fully and happily.

I had no way of knowing at eighteen that both of us would colossally fail at it—to live our life fully and happily without the other one.

I was extremely relieved to hear that Sadie didn't resent me for suggesting our breakup.

I had had an extremely hard time balancing between the guilt I felt for breaking up with her, and the hurt and resentment that came from Sadie not telling me that it was the dumbest idea she had ever heard and going along with it instead.

A small part of me was angry at both of us for letting our relationship go.

"So we'll see everyone and show how we've picked up all the broken heart pieces?" I joked.