Two Arts

Chapter 48

A.N. I don't think I will post on Monday as it's Christmas Day and I'll try to stay unplugged from writing for a day or two, but I'll be right back on Thursday to post chapter 49!
I appreciate you guys so much, thank you for continuing to read this story.

Going back to my life in New York without Sadie was harder than either of us had put into account.

On the last few nights we spent together there was an unspoken sense of urgency that forced us to hold onto each other extra tight.

It made me notice all of those little things that I was going to miss and that I had never paid attention to before—when we were younger and could sleep together so often throughout the week.

I noticed the way her feet were always cold in the evening when we went to bed but were always so warm and cozy in the morning when we exchanged sleepy cuddles.

I noticed how nicely her chest smelled when my eyes fluttered shut against it.

How unbearably soft and inviting her skin was when it was time to doze off but I wanted to place just one more kiss on the crook of her neck.

How priceless it was to have the chance to pull her back against me in the middle of the night, her lower back against my stomach, and feel her hands sleepily sneak back to take hold of me.

I could've written an entire book about the things I loved about Sadie.

And then I could've made it into a series and I don't think I would've ever run out of words for her.

I hated to have to sleep separately knowing that Sadie's nightmares were always right around the corner.

She could go an entire week without any just for them to come back several nights in a row with no cause or explanation.

I had learned to take care of her when her body shook in soft cries in the middle of the night. Sadie had also gotten used to reaching for me and finding me there, which I hated to think about once I was gone.

I tried not to pay too much attention to social media.

I stopped following the page that posted updates with photos of Sadie daily—also because someone had figured out, now that they had my name, that I was in fact following that page and made a comment on it, which didn't make me feel extremely comfortable.

I had caught a glimpse of several pictures of Sadie and me on the motorcycle, paparazzi had gotten us a few of the times we were out on the bike after all.

I had to be honest with myself and admit that they were good photos.

Sadie's hands clutched onto my clothes in a way that made me want to print some for my personal keepsakes. In one photo in particular her hand was on my thigh so confidently I had to bet she was trying to make a stance.

She never left things to chance.

I saw dreamy teenagers on the internet posting and sharing videos telling and reconstructing our possible story. I was surprised when someone theorized that Sadie and I could've reconnected exactly when we did on her New York trip.

Someone had done their homework and could pull lucky guesses.

It was going to take time for me to fully digest the ways my life was changing because of Sadie.

It was going to take time for us to understand how to make our relationship work as we lived in two massive cities that were placed at opposite ends of the country. We each had commitments we weren't willing to give up on or wouldn't allow the other one to do so.