I couldn't stop thinking about if Tom really missed me that much.
We were still out on the sun loungers. I told him at had to pee, and went upstairs to the bigger bathroom.
I did. my thing and as I walked out of the door, I couldn't help but take a glance inside Toms room.
It was so big and beautiful. Of course it was at least as messy as his old room back in Germany, but it still looked expensive and luxurious.
I went inside and sat down on his bed. I looked around while thinking about what it must be like to live in this bedroom.
My eyes passed a notebook or something lying on his nightstand. I grabbed it and looked it n the cover.
It was plain black, and I really wanted to open it and look in it, but it could be something personal he didn't want to share with anyone.
I sat there looking at it for a while. I couldn't fight the voice in my head telling me to open it.
I opened it at the first page.
Tom's diary
It said.
If it's a diary, he definitely didn't want to share this with the rest of the world. But... I wasn't the rest of the world. I was his... whatever I was to him.
I mean, could it really be that bad if I looked in it? It probably could, but my devil killed the angel on the other shoulder, so I couldn't stop myself from looking at the next page.
24. December 2009
Dear diary
It's been over a year since I saw y/n the last time. But on a morning like this, where I should be happy and excited for later tonight when I'm gonna celebrate Christmas with my family, I can only think of her.
She was the sun on a cold and dark day, and today is one of the coldest and darkest days of the year.
I think of y/n every day. Especially when I wake up and hope that this was all just a dream, and that she is lying right beside me, in her smudged out makeup and tangled hair, with her mouth slightly open and her breasts falling to each side of her beautiful body.
But that is just not reality, and I've started to accept that. Not that it makes me any happier, I just feel less.
When I feel less, I do more dumb things. Things I regret afterwards. Like drinking too much and sleeping with random girls I find at parties.
The thing is, that every time I have sex these days, I can't help but think about her. In my mind, she is the one lying underneath me or bouncing on top of me. I can't get her out of my mind, no matter how hard I try.
I don't even know why it's so hard for me to forget her, since we weren't even together for that long. But I think it's because we never got to make that many memories together. We would only ever smoke, talk and fuck.
I never got to show her all the beautiful places I have been. I never got to take her to all the best clubs I know.
I never even got to tell her how much I loved her. Maybe that's because I've first realised that now. I really fucking love her.
Merry Christmas
- Tom
—
Oh my god.
So many thoughts were running through my mind right now. He wrote all this? He felt all this? He loved me that much?
I couldn't help but to take a glance over the rest of the pages.
I skimmed them all, and I noticed how my name was mentioned on every. single. page.
Y/n .........
Y/n........
Y/n
....
........
.......
Y/n
It just kept going. I never thought he would think of me that much.
Y/n .........
Y/n
Y/n......
.... Y/n
.......
.............
Y/n
My mind was racing. So many voices spoke to me. It was like a whole bunch of people were just screaming things inside of my head.
I didn't notice the sound of someone walking out in the hall, before they opened the door a bit more.
I looked up. It was Tom.
YOU ARE READING
A whole new person
FanfictionThe sequel of "The guy next door". Resumé of "The Guy Next Door": Y/n and her mum moved to a different city in Germany to get a new beginning after loosing y/n's dad. It turned out Tom and Bill Kaulitz lived in the house right beside them, and y/n h...
