A whole new person

14 | Nightmare

Days were passing by like that - all the same.

The thing is... I got bored by this the last time. I hated that nothing ever happened.

I never hated that I woke up just to spend the day smoking and sleeping with Tom. I hated that I never did anything else. Days were just too alike, and no excitement happened throughout the day.

But tomorrow was the day of the fashion show, and in two days we were going to that galla thing.

I guess that could maybe bring some excitement into my life.

—

We were lying on the couch and had our afternoon coffee that day. Tom was lying beneath me, and I was lying on top of him, resting my head on his stomach.

He was caressing my forehead. His hands were so warm.

I could hear his breath, and I could feel his breast going up and down.

This was the kind of moments I loved. The way we would just be. No talking, no kissing, no fucking. Just him and I living peacefully together.

I wanted to tell him how much I liked it, but I was never the kind of person to just say: 'Hey I really like this!' I was more the type of person to say: 'Mmmh.' And then expect him to know what I meant by it.

And he did. He always knew what I meant, cause he knew everything about me. He had seen me in my most vulnerable moments and he had seen me in my most confident moments. There was nothing he couldn't tell by my expressions.

But I was just afraid that he didn't like moments like this. What if he thought this was boring?

The thing I was most afraid of, was if he was only with me for the sex. I mean, he couldn't be in love with me yet. We still haven't really known each other for more than a couple of months in all. So he technically couldn't be with me because he loved me.

But I enjoyed being with him. I just hoped that he enjoyed being with me too.

We just haven't had one of those special moments that makes one realise how much they love another person.

It was not like in those books where people go through fire and water together, and sacrifice themselves for each other.

Tom and I were just chilling together. And in some way, that was kinda nice, but I craved some excitement... even if it would hurt me.

—

That night, I had trouble sleeping.

Tom was holding me tight, which made it easier for me to relax, but after I had closed my eyes, I wasn't sleeping very well.

I guess my mind had been stressing too much about the coming weekend.

I had a nightmare that night.

I was walking down a street with tall old buildings on each side of me. It was dark, and only a little light came from the street lights.

I was supposed to find Tom waiting for me here. I don't know how I knew I was supposed to do that, but dreams are weird, and I always have some kind of missions in my dreams.

The street just wasn't ending, and no matter for how long I walked, I just couldn't find him.

I tried to call out his name, but no voice came out, just a slight whisper.

It was scary. I felt like someone was following me. But I couldn't turn around. My body just wouldn't turn.

I tried to run, but I couldn't. I fell, and I couldn't get up.

My heart was racing.

I kept calling for Tom, but my voice just wasn't working, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stand up.

I was just lying there on the ground. Unable to move.

Tom, where are you?

Then I heard someone talking to me. It was not a familiar voice.

His words were unclear, and I couldn't move my head to see who he was.

I tried to call toms name again, but still nothing came out.

I could sense the man standing in front of me, leaning down over me.

He touched my shoulder, and with that touch, I woke up.

"Y/n, are you alright?" Tom was gently wiggling my shoulder.

I was warm and sweaty. My heart was beating so fast.

"Did you have a nightmare love?" His voice was so calming. "You were crying and kicking your legs, so I woke up."

That's when I noticed the tears falling from my eyes.

"I- I'm so sorry to have woken you... I couldn't find you." I was still really tired, and the words just flew out of my mouth without a single thought behind them.

It probably didn't make any sense to him.

"So that's why you were calling my name?" I turned around to look at him. He was smiling at me. He probably thought it was a little funny that I called his name.

"Was I calling your name?"

"Yeah, you were whispering really loudly."

"Oh, we'll I just tried to find you, but I could only whisper in my dream. Can't believe I was actually whispering in real life." I was laughing a little now.

Thank god Tom could make me a little happier, cause even though that dream wasn't that bad, it was still really uncomfortable. Just that feeling of inability to move or talk. I just felt hopeless.

"Well I'm right here darling."

"I know, but in my dream, you were just gone, and this scary dude came up to me and I couldn't find you."

"Should we get up now?" He was caressing my waist. Every time he did that it just sent electronic waves through my entire body.

"Is it that late?" I asked him.

I couldn't believe I slept for that long. - It felt like I just fell asleep, had a nightmare, and then I woke up. I truly thought I had just slept for like ten minutes.

"Well, my watch says we have five minutes left to sleep in. We gotta be early up for your show today."

Oh shit.

I totally forgot about that.

I feel so exhausted. Not because I've been doing anything these past few days, but that nightmare just pushed me off the road. I really just need a good nights sleep. But I guess I'll just have to wait another 18 hours for that.

"Hold on, are you coming with me?" When I thought about it, I never asked him if he wanted to come with me, but it made me think that he really just wanted to spend as much time with me as possible.

It made me feel warm. Like a confirmation that he really cared about me.

"Yeah, I wouldn't wanna miss it would I?" He smiled at me.

"Thank you, I'll just go grab a shower real quick then." I gave him a quick kiss and got up.

God, this man.