afraid to let go

I

Mikaela was the most loving person I have known. She always had a smile on her face. I've known her my whole life, I just hadn't expected to lose her so early.

*
[ 3 days earlier... ]

"C'mon Crystal, it's New Years Eve! Let's go out! Ryan's having a party tonight, you know how much fun that'll be." Mikaela said, persuading me to go out.

"You know parties really aren't my thing. Besides, just spending the day with you & Dylan would be fine by me." I sighed.

"But Dylan promised Rachel that he'd meet her at the party.."

Oh crap, I forgot. "I told Nathan that I would meet him there too.."

Nathan and I have been on and off for a couple months, but he was set on having things work out between us.

"Perfect! Should we just meet Dylan there or..." She trailed off.

"I'll meet you guys there." Dylan said, walking out of his room, already dressed.

"So I'm the designated driver tonight?" I sighed.

"Of course not! It's New Years Eve! I'll have someone come pick us up, or we could just spend the night." Mikaela said, taking a sip of my water. "Besides, I really won't have that much to drink."

I was a bit hesitant, but I knew I was going to regret it if I didn't end up going. Might as well live life to its fullest.

*
I had 2 rounds of shots, and I've only been here for about 10 minutes. Ryan's place was packed, considering he practically lived in a mansion because his dad was a former actor, and his mom was a model. I lost Mikaela within the first five minutes I walked in. After I took my 3rd shot, I walked outside onto the deck. Two hands wrapped around my waist.

"Happy New Years Eve, baby." Someone slurred in my ear. I turned around, glancing to see who it was. Even in the dark I could make out his facial features. Sharp jawline, pointy nose straight out of a magazine, and hazel green eyes. Nathan. A guy who could make you fall in love, just by using his words.

"Happy New Years Eve to you too.." I said, feeling a bit uneasy. He gently kissed my neck. I sighed. I really didn't like how this was going. "Stop." I stuttered. He obeyed, taking his lips off of my neck, stumbling back a bit.

"Do you not want this anymore?" He said, confused, looking a tiny bit frustrated. I was beginning to feel lightheaded.

"No Nate.. I really want us. I want it to work, I just can't. Not when you've been drinking." I really needed to sit down.

"I haven't been drinking that much." And I knew he was beginning to sober up. I checked my phone. About 10 minutes have gone by, and I had 2 missed calls from Mikaela and 1 from Dylan. Shit.

"Nate, can we talk later? Mikaela's looking for-"

"Hey Crys, can I talk to you?" Dylan said, interrupting my conversation with Nathan. I nodded, and Nathan just walked away.

"Is he bothering you? Sorry I left you out here with him.. I've been looking for you."

"It's fine, you didn't know he would come out here after me. Are you alright? You look upset." I said, looking at him with worried eyes. He shook his head. "So Rachel and I talked, and turns out she's been sleeping with Ryan. I've been looking for Mikaela every where but I can't find her." He ran a hand through his dark brown hair. I pulled him in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Dyl, you deserve so much better." He sighed.

"If you find Kaela, let her know I've been looking for her, alright?" I nodded, walking inside.