One day before..
Before everything, before my whole life changes. Butterflies are already happening and it's not even time. I'm nervous to see what the future has planned for James and I. Meeting him was probably the best thing in my life and I don't know where I would be without him. James had to go back the day after he proposed, while he was gone I immediately started planning and telling everyone. Of course my mom was happy as ever as well as my dad. My best friend Kate was happy to be my maid of honor and I hoped that James was picking his best man up where he was. James is coming back tonight and I honestly can't wait to be in his arms again. Let's just be clear that a lot of things went through my mind when James asked me to marry him. I mean, would your mind just be completely blank? Like your whole brain just shut down for about two whole minutes. Well... mines did. I guess ever since I was a little girl I always imagined how I was going to be asked. I always thought to myself, "This is the moment you've been waiting for. All the heartbreaks, all those long nights venting to your best friend, all those times you cried yourself to sleep.. This is the moment where it makes all those things worth it. I will now be married to the love of my life. When I wake up in the morning and open my eyes to see that I am sleeping just inches away from the man that's all mine, that will be the moment that I will realize that everything is okay now. All those times crying over stupid boys will be nothing compared to the times where I am looking into his eyes saying to myself how lucky I am." It feels good to say that everything is okay now. After I marry James, everything will be better than ever. Two more hours till I marry him and I swear I am the happiest girl in the world. Through out the day, my mother and I have been going crazy making sure everything is perfect. While my mother and I are waiting for the ceremony to start, we go into the dressing room to make sure my dress and everything else is good to go. As I look at the mirror I notice my mother is holding back tears.
"Momma what's wrong?" I asked.
"Oh sweetheart... You look so beautiful that's all," she replied.
I knew it was something more than that. Maybe if I asked her some questions, it would make her tell me what the real reason is.
"Momma how did you feel on your wedding day?"
"Oh that was so long ago, I don't even know if I remember it at all!" she said while laughing
After a few minutes she answered...
"From what I could remember, I felt like a little girl on Christmas day. So excited to see what was in store for me. Even though I was kinda nervous because I didn't know what I was getting. In this case, I knew what i got myself. I gave myself happiness and I was excited to see what this new happiness will bring into my life. And he gave me you..."
Now I'm not going to lie but I wanted to cry at that very exact moment. But of course I didn't and I know what you're thinking. It wasn't because I didn't want to ruin my make up, it was because I didn't want someone walking in on two grown women crying on each other. Kind of a weird image right?
We both agreed to not cry until the wedding was over. We really didn't want to make a mess of ourselves.
As the time came to walk down the aisle, I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life. I wasn't nervous about tripping over myself or anything. I guess the feeling of starting a new chapter in my life made me nervous. Like my mother said, "I was excited to see what was in store for me."
I could hear the sound of the 'wedding march' playing. A huge smile crept across my face and I turned around to face my father who was patiently waiting for me. As I put my arm through his we walked down the hall to enter the church. Suddenly my father stopped walking...
"Now my love, normally I would never give you away to another man just like that. The only man who should ever protect you and love you in your life would be me and only me. But for some reason, James is different. I can make an exception out of him. Every time I see him look at you I can tell that he loves you. That is why I know he will protect you no matter what. But I swear if he breaks your heart, the next day he will be six feet under" he says.
I will never forget those words. Although I'm sure he was trying to be funny, I took it to the heart. I think it was hard for him to let go of his only daughter. Of course I was daddy's girl my whole entire life, he was my rock in everything. This was probably breaking him into pieces right now. I wasn't sure what to say at that time, so all I did was hug him. It was good for the both of us, i'm pretty sure we've been needing some type of closure.
As we continued and reached to the end of the hall my father asked me, "Are you ready?". My only response was, "Ready as I'll ever be."
We walked down the aisle and I could not feel my legs at all! My eyes focused mainly on James who could not stop smiling at me. I swear for a moment I thought I saw a tear slide down his cheek. Maybe I'm just delusional. The distance between James and I began to decrease little by little and my heart beat faster and faster each step. I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack at that time. We finally reach the end and my father kisses my cheek. I walk to the spot where I should be standing. James and I look right into each others eyes. Now that is the moment. THE MOMENT. The moment I knew everything was going to be okay. As we said our vows I've realized two things.
One -
There are happy endings. It just takes time to find it, it make take years like it did for me. The point is that everyone has one.
Two -
No matter what obstacles you go through in life just know that something great and big will come out of it. In this case, I am marrying my best friend. It sounds cheesy but at this point nothing is to cheesy for anything.
We said our "I do's" and the time came to have our first kiss as a married couple. James put his hand on my lower back and slightly pushed me into him. He pushed me close enough where our lips could touch ever so softly. A kiss I will never forget. I could hear the chanting and hooting coming from our families! I felt embarrassed but it felt good knowing our families supported us. Our hands were connected to each other till we got in the car ( we ran out of the church). We just wanted time to ourselves. The first thing we did in the car was make out. I'm pretty sure that was necessary. Once our lips started to feel numb we parted from each other, hands still connected, my head on his shoulder. I guess you can say it was an over whelming day.
I wonder what my happiness has in store for me...
AUTHORS NOTE
So it's been over a year since I've been on this. But I went through a lot of things and I feel like I should start writing them down as a story. It feels good to write again... Hope everyone enjoys this new part of Army Love!
