Stevie ended up sitting out on the porch swing with a knitted throw blanket, a cup of coffee and her leatherback journal with the hope of throwing all of her pain into poem. But once her eyes melted into the misty morning air, where a rainbow was hardly visible and the sun was just beginning to rise though the dark clouds, she got so lost in thought, writing was the last thing on her mind.
Instead she spent all morning replaying their conversation and all the other ones she'd had with everyone else about her choice to get married. It didn't seem like a big deal, not to her, but everyone around her made it seem nearly catastrophic.
People get married every day and no one blinks an eye, but for her it was different... Her kids didn't approve, her assistant voiced her concerns, her very best friends warned her and now him, too. And even though she hated to admit it, his opinion always mattered to her, even at their very worst.
She still cared about what he thought, even though she found it to be incredibly obnoxious.
It wasn't until nearly eleven- already a couple of hours since their little argument when Lindsey finally pushed open the screen door. "Can I join you?" He had his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants as he stared out at the water.
The sky had grown dark once more, the clouds hovering low to the crashing waves as a soft line of rain rolled across the blue ocean. It was a beautiful morning.
Without saying a word, she pushed herself up and readjusted to make room for him on the swing.
With a soft sigh, he took a seat on that side as his eyes stayed locked on the world around them. "If he makes you happy, then I'm happy." They both knew he was stretching the truth just a little, but for the most part, he was being sincere. "And it wasn't my place to say anything like that to you, Steph." He rarely ever admitted when he was in the wrong, but he had to before she walked out that front door for good.
He couldn't end things on a bad note, not in that house.
Stevie stared at his side profile for a moment, suddenly trying hard to remember what he looked like thirty years earlier as they sat in that exact same spot.
They spent a thousand mornings right there, but one in particular really stuck out for her in that very moment. It was August- the summer was drawing to an end and as they cleaned up the house for the winter, she'd found herself very emotional. She'd been crying on and off for hours as they packed their bags and eventually, after giving herself a headache, she sat out there on that old swing with her two hands plastered to her baby bump.
She had found out that she was pregnant two months earlier, right before she left for Hawaii and it had been their little secret since. It was just the two of them that knew, so heading home was a scary thought for her, especially since she'd just gotten a divorce four months prior and was now five months pregnant with two bouncing babies.
It felt like she was entering the unknown and in all actuality, she was.
But to reassure, like he'd been doing all summer long, Lindsey sat next to her and swung them steadily as he rubbed her shoulders softly.
They didn't speak a single word, instead they just soaked up that time, because like always, once they got home, things would change again.
"Maybe I should just tell you what I mean," Lindsey shrugged softly when he realized that she wasn't going to speak up, only because she was so lost in thought and he hadn't turned to notice. "I'm sorry." He said in a soft tone of voice as he finally glanced over at her, only to see the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Hey?" He creased a brow, one hand falling on her side gently. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this." He repeated, feeling about as small as an ant seeing her that sad.
It hadn't always bothered him that much, but the older they got, the more brutal it became to see her that upset.
They were too old to be breaking each others hearts.
"Stop apologizing." She whispered, staring deep into the blue eyes that had captivated her more than she could even begin to describe. "Just hush..." she mumbled, head resting his shoulder as her hand reached for his.
He didn't hesitate to tangle their fingers together, slowly bringing it up to his mouth to leave the most gentle kisses on her knuckles. "I have never loved anyone the way I love you." Lindsey told her, head turned slightly to the side to look down at her.
Her button nose was red from the tears and her brown eyes had redirected themselves towards the water as she stayed curled into him. "And you're the love of my life." Stevie assured, heart beating a mile a minute. "You always have been, but it's time." Her bottom lip curled and by then she was nearly bawling. "I have to let you go and you have to do the same for me." She slipped her free hand around his shoulders, finally looking back at him.
He nodded softly, not sure that was going to be easy, but he was going to respect it.
"It's okay." Stevie slowly and carefully pushed herself up on the old wooden swing to sit on her knees as both of her hands met his cheeks.
Before he got the chance to reply, there was a loud crackle in the sky and in a split second, the rain began hitting the roof that was over them with such force, it sounded like little pins hitting metal.
His eyes met hers, both of them finding it impossible not to crack soft smiled before letting out deep laughs to reflect how comical the irony was. "It's a sign." Lindsey grinned, shaking his head lightly.
She sank into him completely, wrapping her arms around him to be held as she continued to cry and giggle all at once. "A good sign, or a bad sign?" She wondered, feeling him gently rub her lower back.
He thought about it for a second, kissing her head before he replied. "It's a sign that we're supposed to be here right now, together."
