Velocity

Part five

March 2011, Germany

"It is nice of her to let you go along with us." Carlos says as he studies my alert bracelet. "She is nuts." I answers while I push my hand far enough in my pocket so nobody can see the bracelet. "What does it do" I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm just asking!" He raises his hands in defense. "It is an alarm button. If I push this, everybody knows where I am so I can't get shot again." I explain. "Wouldn't people hear the gunshot before the alarm" He asks raising an eyebrow. "Can you please tell my mother that?" sigh.

"Well at least she can't bother you all the way from Spain. So you can enjoy the silence for a couple of days." I snort out a laugh. I hand him my phone from my pocket. "If you hold on to this, I can enjoy the silence." He looks at the screen and when it lights up the seven missed called from my mother become visible. "Yeah, she is nuts."

"Maybe food can make you feel better." He says as he pulls me after him to the canteen where they serve lunch. On the list with all the things you never say to your fat friend, this might get a podium. When your mothers love language is food and you eat your feelings away, you end up like me.

"You haven't eaten since the airport. You need to eat something." He says. A tray gets stuffed full of food before he takes it with us to a table. "I know that you need to eat good before you race, but how do you even fit in the car after eating all of this?" I ask looking at all of this food.

We left Spain in the middle of the night so we could be at the track on time for breakfast. I have never been to Germany before in my life, but I liked it here. "Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day." He explains. He hands me a pretzel while holding my gaze until I take a bite.

"It is good right?" He asks. Carlos came to this side of Europe very often. This year he raced in the Formula Renault Northern European Cup. All the races took place in Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium. He was as Spanish as someone can possible be, but he loved seeing other parts of the world.

I nod my head before I take another bite. I hate it to eat in front of other people. I always have the feeling like they silently judge me for eating so much when I'm already this size. I shouldn't care about it, but I do. And the model like looking man on the other side of the table had absolutely no idea.

"Hungry much?" A boy asks standing next to us. I look at Carlos waiting for him to answer the boy. It takes me a little while until I realize that he is talking to me. I turn around to take him in. He can't be much older than I am. He is skinny, tall and very blond. His German accent is tick whenever he speaks.

"What?" I ask. I heard him. I just want to see if he will repeat himself now that he had both our attention. "Leave something for him, will you?" He says not even looking like he is joking. He is either very arrogant or he really doesn't know that saying things like this is hurtful to me.

"He needs to eat something if he wants to beat me today." He says with a grin on his face that I would love to punch. I take a deep breath and turn my face back to Carlos. It doesn't matter what I say next, nothing is going to change the way he thinks about me.

This boy was raised to be exactly what he is doing now. He was taught his whole life to disrespect everyone that was beneath him. And in his eyes, I was because of my weight. I can scream, I can get angry, but it doesn't change a thing. So I just chose to ignore it.

I squish the pretzel in my hand. "Fuck off, Vik." Carlos says. I'm sure that if Carlos stands up, he is at least twenty centimeters taller than Vik. So I am really wondering why he dares to say shit like this. I don't think Carlos would risk anything, but if he decides to use his fists, Vik has a very big problem.