Velocity

Part six

Song:
You belong with me- Taylor swift.

August 2011, Madrid 

I try to concentrate on the book in my hands, but no matter how hard I try, every few seconds I'm distracted. I've been pretending for the past two hours like I'm reading the romance, when I reality I haven't read more than ten pages.

That might have something to do with my incredibly handsome, and also half naked best friend that is swimming in the lake in front of me. I'm way past the point of being too proud to admit I have a crush on him. But that is something he can never know. 

I pull my sunhat a little further over my head, while pushing my sunglasses further up my nose. I'm trying to be discrete about the fact that I have been drooling all over the place, but somewhere in the back of my head I know I couldn't be more obvious about it. 

I look at Carlos who comes running out of the water to jump of the scaffolding again. He runs a hand through his wet, dark hair to get it out of his face. Waterdrops run down his body. I follow one drop from his forehead, all the way to the band of his swim trunks. 

He is incredibly fit for a seventeen-year-old. His defined abs are glistening from the drops of water. He shaved his chest for today. And even though I wish him the world, it feels great to know I'm not the only one who is insecure. 

I am wearing a bikini underneath my long sleeve dress. Carlos asked me why I was wearing something that covered so much skin, because its 38 degrees outside. We had a good conversation about insecurities in Germany, but I couldn't tell him the truth. 

My dress reaches to over my knees and if I wasn't 1.45 meters tall, you would think I was a grandma. Not that it really mattered what everyone else thought about me. The only opinion I cared for was Carlos'. 

I try to read another page in my book but the main character who is supposed to be blonde, is looking very different in my mind. With every minute that passes he is looking more and more like someone I shouldn't be crushing on. 

Wanye, who is supposed to be an ice hockey player, is now looking like a certain racing driver I know. One with black tousled hair, brown eyes and a smile I would die for. And the worst part is that I'm not even doing it on purpose. 

I spy over the edge of my book once again, being secretly jealous of all the girls that are in the water with Carlos. If I had a body like that, I would be the first one in the water. But unfortunately, I have a bigger belly than most girls have. I have thick thighs, big breasts and an ass. 

I don't hate my body. I didn't when I was younger. It were the people I loved that made me believe my body was one that I needed to hide because no one wanted to look at me. I am unworthy because I don't look like the rest of them. And at some point, I started believing them.

I know that all the girls that hang around Carlos are only there because they believe he is going to be rich one day. I also know that Carlos has no interest in any of them because of it. Why he is dating Amber is a mystery to me. 

Because Amber is exactly what you would expect with the son of a rich rally driver. She is blonde, tiny, pretty and kind of a bitch if you ask me. But it could be because I'm a little biased. I did not make the effort to get to know her, and I'm not planning on it either. 

Because with just one look I know that she is not with Carlos for him. She doesn't know him like I do. She doesn't know he slept with the lights on until he was 14. She doesn't now that he likes his cereal grossly, completely soaked. She doesn't love him like I do. 

"Raina, come swim with me?" Carlos asks while standing next to me. I disappeared that far into my own thoughts I forgot he was here with me. I shake my head. "I'm reading." I mumble in response. "No, you're not." She says shaking his head.