Gracie Freaking Hall

The Three Furies (Pt.2/3)

Itzel

Mornings at my church consisted of a crappy breakfast, followed by a cold shower, and prayer session.

When I say crappy breakfast, it was the typical eggs and toast meal. I sat there, in silence, picking at my food. I didn't have much of an appetite knowing she was back. I had heard the news, my parish being those who did not shy away from gossip. They seemed to know everyone's secrets just to know what they would be judging them on, as they claimed it was to pray for their souls. They reminded me of my parents to a tee. They were the only reason why my life now consisted of prayers and feeling guilty for simple things that would be deemed frowned upon, like my period. Sure it was a natural thing that every woman had to go to but it was also seen as dirty in the religious eyes of this church.

Normally, I sat with my fellow nuns as they talked about a new enlightened way the gospel was telling us something. I wasn't as dedicated as them so most of the things they said went over my head. Had I read the bible? Yes. Did I think God was punishing me for something? At the moment, I did. Did I agree with everything the church told me? No.

I excused myself from the table, not that anyone noticed since they were in a vigorous conversation on the creation of the universe and what if God hadn't done it in 7 days. They had gone over this topic a million times. What if he had chosen 5 days or 10 days? It always seemed to bring them to lively debate. If anyone asked me, it didn't matter. It had been 7 days and now that he had, I had to walk this lonely world and keep living even if I didn't want to. Thoughts like these were also frowned upon.

My thoughts don't leave me as I make my way to the showers and turn the nod. Every morning, I hope for hot water. I'd even settle for lukewarm at this point, but every time I got under the spout, the dream vanished as my skin was met with the coldness. I always tried to keep my showers brief and scrub as fast and hard as I could, making sure I didn't have to spend another second longer than I needed to but making sure I was clean enough to go about my day. However, thanks to my thoughts, the water didn't seem as unpleasant this morning. They shifted from my guilt to the reason I felt this way, to Brianna being back in town. I had enough to deal with and saying her name left a sour taste in my mouth.

My parents had always said I didn't deserve to be alive, but yet, the fact that I wanted to die was a sin. The guilt ate me up being here but they had forced me here because of my sins. I scoff at the thought they didn't even know most of them. They said this is where I belonged, this is the place that would wash all of my sins away. I knew that if Brianna was here, she would have told me it was a load of crap. As much as I hated the bitch, I knew she would make me feel better just for expressing who I am. Although, with the things she had done, anything comparable would be deemed better. You poisoned a few people? Didn't matter as long as they hadn't died. So you stole a luxurious car and wrecked it, Brianna had done something worse to top it. Brianna had killed one of my best friends. Even came to the memorial service with no guilt while I had to live here, stewing in mine. It wasn't fair, but again, when it came to Brianna nothing was fair. All the things she had done, and all she ever got was a slap on the wrist and a "do better" from the whole community until that all changed.

I turn off the water and get ready for morning prayer. I make sure I am as dry as I can be before I put on the black-and-white habit. I make sure to wrap my hair in a small bun before putting on the headpiece that goes along with it. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup which always made me frown at my eye bags. I struggled to sleep, but no one could blame me. I was told that I had committed sins beyond pardoned and my soul was beyond saving in the eyes of the guy they had plastered everywhere in this convent.

I make my way to the temple where most of the people are there. I make brief eye contact with the priest and bow my head slightly before scurrying off like a spoked mouse to the edge of one of the pews. For some reason, I felt that he could see and read my inner thoughts. Seeing as he was close to God and everything, I rather not chance it.

I get down on my knees to start my prayer and look up to be met with the large statue of who I like to call the big guy. God always felt so formal and I felt below that to call him by that. Sometimes it was hard because when I had to read scripture, I had to remind myself it was okay. Once I was done praying, I sat on the pew and looked around. Most people were still down on their knees praying while some sat murmuring them. I couldn't help but find myself questioning everything. Which again, was frozen upon.

I sat there, ready to confess my sins all over again. Wondering, that if I was such a bad person, then why was I still allowed to sit here? My parents believed they had failed with me as I was such a wild child, especially considering my brother could do no wrong. He could sleep with 5 different girls and still be pure and innocent, I could kiss one boy and I'd be a whore who was damned for life. A little sexist if you asked me, but my mother always made it a point to tell me the world was cruel to us, so I had to do better. I had two brothers to be exact. One was 2 years younger than me and the other would be turning 5 soon. He was young and impressionable, so I had to leave the house and make sure not to bring any bad habits of mine near him.

I might not have liked the religion and the constant I should be feeling guilty because that meant I was a "good person" aspect, I preferred it rather than being at home with people who hated me and only belittled me any chance they got. I was here to pray away my sins, but the thought that Brianna was at her house, feeling anything but that only made me furious. She had done more wrong than me, and yet she didn't have to come and pray for forgiveness or be kicked out of her house and forced into a life she didn't want.

I stand up from the pew and walk out the door, making my way towards the local bus stop since my convent was two towns down. Again, my parents thought it would be better and hoped people would forget I was their daughter. They never wanted to be associated with me if they could help it.

The bus didn't leave me at her doorstep so I had to walk a few minutes to reach it. Finally reaching the familiar house, I stood in the center of the street, right in front of it. I can see the familiar figures of my ex-best friends standing on their respectable sides as well.

I had come to face the devil, but so had they. 

>>>>

Two chapters with our girl Itzel. Now, I don't literally mean this is the second chapter but they kind of came as a set. The three girls, and now we need one more. I wonder what Belinda is doing. 

Anywho, how is the story so far? 

Also, I have been thinking of aesthetics to do for them so I might need to sit down soon and do some.  So you guys can have a clearer picture of how I imagine these characters. I've been thinking of songs to go with them as well. Some are harder, especially cuz I don't listen to a lot of music. Anyway, I'm done talking. Till next time :)