The Dragon and The Phoenix: A Love Story

Worthless Regrets

Yin Zhen sat in his room reenacting his reunion with MC over and over in his mind. He had been a fool believing that he was going to flick her on the forehead and lecture her. All of the hurt and betrayal he had felt for the past year disappeared into thin air when he saw her standing before him. For the small amount of time they were together, it was as if they had never been apart. She had gotten so thin he worried that he may have bruised her when he had grabbed her suddenly. He had held back his emotions for as long as he could when he saw her again but couldn't hold back his desire to hold and kiss her in the end. The way she had allowed him to pin her against the wall made him feel like they were back to how they used to be: the carefree days of passion and romance. He didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. What would she think if she returned the palace and he was with another woman? He would make it clear he was only with another woman for procreational purposes and not because he cared for her. He planned on building his arranged partner an estate far away from him and would only visit once a week. He still held onto the hope that his Father would respect his wishes to remain unmarried until he was ready. The only way he would be "ready" is if MC truly died this time. There was still the fear of MC not making it through her mission. Prince Jin was a temperamental Prince and rumored to make the late 2nd Prince look like a saint.
When would he tell her about the pressure to get married? Would he have to tell her? Would she come back to the forbidden city in time for him to demand that she become his wife?

In the meantime he had more to think about. He was living a double identity right now as "Merchant Jhen" to make it easier to travel and he had asked his spies to see if there was anyway he could see MC for one last time before departing home. They told him it was unlikely but they were willing to risk themselves to find out. Yin Zhen promised an award no matter the outcome as a further motivation. He gave them two days to investigate and to return to him if and when it was safe. They would all meet in the kingdom to the North if no one returned under the assumption that they made it back alive.
He felt guilty for asking them to risk their lives again. However, seeing her once in over a year was just not enough. Even the second time around wouldn't be enough, but he would take what he could. And this time, he would tell her before he left.

He missed her already as much as he had done for the past several months. The brief meeting between them felt like a dream. He buried his face into his pillow and started to softly cry. He loved MC so much that it was overwhelming. When would he see her again?

--

MC retreated to her room as quickly as she could. As soon as she was alone, she let the tears overflow from her face and the whimpering start. She ran into bed and hid under her blanket as she started to sob. She was so happy but also devastated. Being with him for those brief moments was the first time she had been truly happy in months. She understood why he didn't tell her about the growing pressure to get married. It was because he didn't want to waste a minute together after a year apart.
What confused her was that he had told her he would find a way to see her again soon. How would this be possible when she was living in the overly guarded palace of Prince Jin? When did he start becoming a liar and keeping secrets from her?
"This is payback...for me not telling you that I was leaving," she spoke into the darkness of her room, "This must have been exactly how you felt back then. Why didn't I just tell you?"
She put her head back into the bed and continued to cry. She knew why she didn't tell him (the prospect of death by the Emperor was her main concern) but still regretted it. She was determined to see this mission through to the bitter end and then beg for Yin Zhen's forgiveness. Of course, she would "forgive" him if he was forced to marry someone else so she could insist he forgive her in return.
Selfish. She was a selfish woman. She never knew how selfish she was until she realized how much she had hurt him trying to bring them together. She wondered if she could have just waited those several years for him within the palace walls. Why had she been so foolish and tried to create a miracle from a golden dragon and a bronze mirror? She wouldn't be in this predicament. Once again, her "brother" Fu Heng was proving to be right. She should have just been patient and lived a comfortable life in the palace.
MC calmed herself so that she could sit up and remove her mask once she laid back down on her pillow, she continued to cry softly until she finally fell asleep.