I Can't Stop... - An OK K.O. story

Thinking of You

This has somehow become a break from a break... I'm taking a break from writing that ship story to write this, while the ship story was to take a break from everything else... I promise I'll try to keep something updated. TwT
Art for this chapter by me btw.

My mind is as empty as this space I'm trapped in. I don't know how long it's been since I last saw him, or anyone for that matter. I have no access to the outside world anymore. I keep seeing things... Haunting visions, glimpses of nightmares. I must be going insane because I can't stop hearing things either. I couldn't possibly tell you what exactly I'm experiencing, but all I can tell you is that I'd never wish this on even my worst enemy.

Where is he? Where did he go? What's happening up there? These thoughts circle in my mind constantly, like a constant loop. I want out, I want freedom, I wanna escape... It's impossible. I have no control here at all, and there's no possible way out of here. I only pray he doesn't forget about me...

I see things pop up and disappear, things of unimaginable horror, things you'd only find in the darkest parts of your mind. It makes sense that those things would show up here, because this is the darkest part of his mind.

I can't help but feel so angry at him, but so terrified and upset. I'm scared... I don't know anything anymore and I'm scared of what might happen. I hate him for this, but I can't blame him after what I did. I wish I could apologize. I'd never touch another cookie again if it meant leaving this awful place.

Sometimes, this place feels like an endless expanse, that goes on for infinity. It feels like something looms just beyond the invisible horizon. Other times, the walls shrink in, unbearably suffocating and cramped. It plays on my fears, well, his fears. We're one in the same, only, I know how he really feels and I'm not afraid to show it. He's much healthier than I am. He knows how to handle his feelings. All I can do is lash out and cause chaos.

There's still one problem. There's one thing he's been doing from the very beginning, which has driven us further and further. He forgets about me sometimes, he doesn't remember how much I'm really a part of him. He can't seem to figure out that he's been slowly pushing me away more and more, even when he tried to give me freedom. Even when he says we're finally friends, all I ever am to him is nothing more than a tool. I give him power, and what does he give me? A stupid cookie, and traps me here...

I'm sorrey. You always say you can't control me, well I can't control myself either. I'm really trying to be better. I try to stay docile in the back of your mind, letting you live your life with the bonus of my extra power, but when I finally get the freedom I long for, I abuse it. Why do I do it? Why can't I stop?

I can feel the tears in the corners of my eyes as I hold back my sorrow. 'This was fully my own fault, I deserved this,' I tell myself. 'He should've done this in the first place and forgotten about me.' Just that thought shakes me to the core. The thought of purely not existing... I could be a lot better, but I don't wanna not exist anymore. I never knew my purpose, and I still don't, but I'd rather exist than not. Sure I've done horrible things, and sure I've hurt family and friends, but really, I never knew what I was doing.

I didn't create the chaos for enjoyment, it was a side product of my final goals. I made rash and reckless decisions to reach my goals, and in the end, it did cause major destruction. Yes maybe one time destruction was a part of my goals, but I wanted to prove a point. I wanted the freedom, I wanted the thrill, the excitement, the fun. Of course, every action has consequences, and my actions were met with harsh judgement from my other half. That's why I'm here now...

I decided not to follow the rules, because at the time, the only rule that mattered, was 'T.K.O. Rules.'