Broke Luxury (A Jacquees Short Story) #Wattys2016

(17) Letting Go Is Hard to Do

4 years later

Kerrie

I placed the flowers on Quee's grave, said a quick prayer, and stared at his tombstone.

I can't believe he actually committed suicide because of me. If I wouldn't have been so jealous, he would still be alive today. Now, a few kids have to grow up without a father, a mother and father have to grieve for a while, and somebody with a broken heart has to heal.

I never would have thought that everything would have lead to this. Sasha, her family, and the rest of my old friends hating me was the last thing I wanted. The baby I was going to have, was gone. I had miscarried after hearing about Quee's suicide. I deserve everything that I'm getting, because karma is real. It just bit me in the ass harder than expected.

I remember sitting down with Quee's family, Sasha, and Tina. I remember Sasha going over the events that lead up to this. I remember her mother looking angrily back and forth between Tina and I, both of our bellies with a slight pudge. I remember the tears slowly falling down her cheeks and her husband wrapping one arm around her shoulders.

"This is your fault!" She yelled at me, pointing an angry finger. "My little boy would still be here if you weren't an evil bitch!"

I frowned and looked down at my fingers. I was disappointed in myself and I hoped that one day we could all move on from this.

4 years later, and things hadn't changed. Everyone still gave me evil looks when they saw me in public. I had realized that it wouldn't get better because I had basically taken someone's life away. Not Quee's actually life, but Sasha and his daughter. I didn't deserve forgiveness, and I was still holding on to everything that happened.

Malika had grown up so much. She was so beautiful and she looked so much like Quee, but she was still beautiful. She had long hair and the perfect eyes. She would be a heartbreaker.

Now that I think on it, I manipulated Quee and Tina. Tina was in a relationship and I had promised both of them no one would find out. They were both sweet people, but easily persuaded. I wasn't supposed to get pregnant and neither was Tina.

Again, I deserved everything I was getting.

"Kerrie," Tina's voice called. She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. "It's so nice to see you."

She placed the flowers on his grave as 2 little boys ran up next to her. I knew they were his. They were twin boys. He couldn't deny them if he was alive to.

"Hey dad." One boy smiled down at the grave, putting a single flower on his grave. "It would have been really to meet you."

"Mommy says you can sing." The other one chimed in. "But she won't let us listen because she says you're nasty."

"Shut up." The other one said hitting him and looking up at their mother.

"They're beautiful." I smiled at Tina.

"Thank you. They're bad." She added and I laughed. "You want one?"

I laughed again, although her joke hit my heart. I did want one. I did want my baby. I wished my baby would have survived every day.

The clouds rolled in, matching my new mood. They were dark, thick, and threatening.

Tina sent the boys off to the car and turned back to me. "You have to let go Kerrie. This isn't good for you to hold on to."

I nodded. "It's hard."

"I forgive you and I know Quee does too." She smiled at me before hugging me and hurrying off to the car.

When she pulled off, the rain started to fall. I didn't bother to scurry to my car. I cried, like I had done so many times before. I bawled my eyes out, letting the rain blend in with my tears.

I can never take back what I had done. I can't let go or move on. I was stuck.

Authors note •

Thanks to everybody who read this book! This wasn't originally a short story, but I made it into one.

I have a new book coming out soon. The description will be out only God knows when. It's very well planned out, the chapters will be longer, and there will be more drama.

Don't delete this from your library. I doubt there will be a sequel.

Again, thank you to everybody!

-j!