Invisible String [T.S-E.S BOOK ONE]

25

October 3rd, 2013

The day before her twenty third birthday, Eleanor boarded a flight to Nashville with Spence. She wasn't sober, not at all, but she wasn't as bad as she had been in September. She was figuring out a balance and becoming a functional addict. It wasn't something to be proud of, but it was something she felt she needed to do.

Her and Taylor had barely spoken since the day she missed her flight. Eleanor hadn't really spoken to a lot of people since then. She got the occasional check in from her family members and Kelley and Alex, but she hadn't heard a word from Emma, Selena, Hayley, and Abby. It made sense to her, though, she and Taylor were in a pretty rough patch. She was determined to fix it, though. She was going to fix everything.

And she meant everything.

————

Taylor had calmed down significantly since their fight.

If she was being honest, she calmed down as soon as she hung up the phone. She had just been so pissed off at her girlfriend. Eleanor disappearing threw her into a spiral. She knew that she was going through something, she could feel it, and after her panic attack in Chicago, Taylor was worried that Eleanor had done something irreversible to herself. She thought that she was gone. And for her to have the audacity to claim that Taylor had some sort of high ground, was infuriating. Taylor would not let Eleanor pull her down into whatever self pity that she was clearly in the midst of, but maybe she had gone a bit too far by banning her from Nashville.

It had been three weeks since their blow up at each other and Taylor had kept her word, they weren't broken up, but they weren't as strong as before. They texted every other day, but there had been a distinct shift.

Jacket Thief
good day today?

Pain In My Ass
can't really complain

That was their last conversation, which they had had the day before, and every time she looked at it her heart broke. It wasn't like them at all.

And it was almost Eleanor's fucking birthday. She'd never been able to spend a birthday with her and once again they were going to be separated, but it was all her fault. How could she reconcile her anger and her love and her hurt and her guilt?

"I'm pissed at her, sure, but I love her." Taylor groaned, falling onto her bed.

Hayley looked over at the blonde from her spot where she was laying on the bed as well. "Tay. Why are you mad? Like maybe try to put it into words."

Taylor let out a huff. She had tried to formulate an explanation for her persisting anger, but she was having trouble getting it together. Maybe speaking it aloud would help.

"I'm mad that she went off the grid." She started. "She was supposed to come to see me and instead she disappeared for hours without a trace when she knows what that does to me and her family. I'm pissed that she came back at me with some bullshit excuse. Like what the fuck is that? I know she's going through something and instead of telling me, she makes up some lie?! I thought I was supposed to be her girlfriend."

There it was. She was pissed because Eleanor was obviously hiding something from her and was refusing to face it. It's what she always did.

"So you're mad that she's keeping things from you." Hayley put it into words perfectly.

Taylor nodded, pressing the heels of her palms to her eyes in frustration. Why did she tell Eleanor not to go to Nashville? She needed her.