Invisible String [T.S-E.S BOOK ONE]

34

March 5, 2014

Taylor had been at her desk for two hours, furiously writing. Her annoyance with Eleanor was still tapping at the back of her mind, but she was struck with a jolt of inspiration. The moment she got over her initial fear from Danielle Barclay's article, her mind was alive with thousands of lyrics. Maybe it was just the thing to get Eleanor to stop being mad at her, even if she was an ocean away.

And if they call me a slut
You know it might be worth it for once.

She was proud of the lyrics she'd scribbled down. She cared so much about what others thought, she only wished that she could be like Eleanor. Eleanor didn't get called a slut just for dating around like a normal young adult. Eleanor didn't get an exposé written for being gay. She was just gay. It drove Taylor up the wall that she couldn't be that way.

Lovelorn and nobody knows
Love thorns all over this rose
I'll pay the price, you won't

Taylor's pencil snapped and she threw the fragments across the room. She wasn't mad at Eleanor, she was mad at their situation. She was mad that she couldn't see a world in which she was out. She didn't want to have to make a declaration. She didn't want the world to have an opinion on it. She just wanted it to be, but she knew no one would ever let it go if they found out who Taylor truly loved.

"Hey, what the fuck was that sound?" Abby asked, pulling open her door.

Abby and Hawk were in town helping Taylor get settled in the new apartment since Eleanor was in Portugal. Although, Taylor was being a pretty shitty host.

"Nothing, just writing." Taylor mumbled, slamming her book shut.

Abby chuckled and leaned against the doorframe. "Well hurry up, your girl's game is about to be on."

The Algarve Cup had taken El all the way to Portugal in the exact wrong moment. Taylor couldn't help but feel as if they were cursed. She thought moving to New York would be better for them, but with tour and Eleanor constantly traveling for games, they didn't get to see each other as much. She found herself yearning for Eleanor's recovery days when it was just them and their pets in Nashville. But she always pushed that thought out of her head when it came. It was selfish of her to even begin to think that.

As Taylor finally made her way to the living room, she found that Hawk (who was staying there while he searched for an apartment) had made himself right at home.

"Dude, feet off the coffee table. It's brand new." She rolled her eyes at him.

He laughed and did as he was told.

"Welcome to the land of the living." He joked, picking up a box off of the coffee table. "I got us a pizza."

Taylor stared at the pizza. She couldn't eat that now. With all of the scrutiny coming her way, she was going to be watched more. Not only that, her picture was being plastered everywhere right next to Eleanor's. She couldn't compare to a professional athlete. She was disgusting compared to her girlfriend.

"I'm not hungry." She waved him off.

Hawks jovial expression dropped immediately and was replaced by the look she saw him give Eleanor thousands of times. "You sure? I don't think you had breakfast."

"No, I did." She lied through her teeth. "I'm just still reeling from yesterday." That part wasn't necessarily a lie.

Hawk brushed it off. He had no reason to believe she was lying to him or even struggling at all. So, they all settled on the couch and watched the game.

————

Eleanor slammed her fists into the ground before standing up. She'd been fouled by a member of the opponent's team and the blind refs hadn't even batted an eye.