Bittersweet Memories (A Stray Kids Short Story Collection)

Magic VI

     October 25th, 2016.

     For the next two months, Minho wonders exactly when Jisung is finally going to crack the code and figure out something is off about Minho. He knows he's not hiding it well enough; his smiles slip too often, his words are too strained. Minho can keep tears in his eyes but that's pretty much it.

     Minho expected he would not be able to handle his 18th birthday. He's right.

     With the way Jisung celebrates, it's as if it's his birthday all over again. They see an awful movie and go for dessert before dinner. Minho tries to enjoy it. He tries to make the most out of the last birthday he'll celebrate with Jisung. He tells that to himself over and over again.

     And it only makes it worse.

     It's getting dark as the two walk over to the diner for dinner and Jisung finally says it.

     "Something's wrong."

     "What do you mean?" Minho asks, hoping to hide for just a little bit longer.

     "I just know. You didn't make fun of the movie. Not even once. You ordered an ice cream cone instead of a sweet crepe. You didn't put me in a headlock when I made fun of your age. You've been more subdued than usual this past month too, so something's wrong. And I think I know what it is."

     Minho's not an idiot. He doesn't fall for the cliches of worrying that his friend has guessed his secret correctly. He knows Jisung will give a completely incorrect assumption and Minho is going to have to pretend it's true. Wishing that the worst Jisung could come up with could be the truth.

     "It's getting cold, let's reach the diner soon," Minho says instead, walking away faster, knowing he has given all of his cards away. He can't run anymore.

     Jisung catches up to him in front of the diner and pulls his arm. "You're scared of university."

     ... what?

     "I'm right, aren't I?" Jisung says. "You won't be able to see me as often and you think you'll be all alone. You'll leave this town and face something completely unfamiliar. That's why you also came to my house late at night to celebrate my birthday. Because we might not celebrate it together next year. Same for this birthday. You're trying to enjoy it, but you feel sad that it may not happen again."

     At that moment, Minho wants to envelope Jisung in a hug, shield him from the world and the stars that litter it, keeping him safe forever. He knew Jisung would be wrong. But he never expected him to come so close to the truth. To still be able to read Minho perfectly.

     "I feel like... time is slipping away," Minho says, feeling the words catch in his throat. He is so grateful that just for this moment, he can wear his heart on his sleeve and share some truths with Jisung, even though he will never know them fully. "I don't know what to expect in the future and I'm so scared of leaving this all behind. I don't want things to change."

     Tears fall down his face and Minho hopes his reaction isn't too dramatic to be warranted for his problems. But he can no longer hide the time bomb suffocating him every day; taking away so much from him when he just wants to hold on.

     "Oh, Minho." Jisung pulls Minho into a hug. "I know all about feeling like there's not enough time. A strategy that really helps me is just zooming into the moment. It's hard, but don't even think about a minute into the future. Focus on opening the door. Then, focus on walking to the table and sitting down. Then on ordering. No more. I don't want to promise things won't change in the future. So it's best to clear it from your mind entirely. Besides, I'm not worried. If there's anyone that can handle change, it's you."