Peace

Chapter 22: Worth

Upon waking up, his brain replays the last few moments of last night. The exertions causes his eyebrows to be furrowed in his slumber. Win softly groans at the sudden coldness he's feeling. He focuses on his own breathing and opens his eyes to the light peeking through the window in the room. He covers his eyes with one hand while his other hand searches for warmth from Bright. However, all he finds is emptiness.

He abruptly sits up and realizes that he's alone in the room. His guts twitch inside, knowing well where this is going. He glances at the bedside table and notices some things on it. Food, the room's key card, Phi Eed's car key and a folded A4 paper. The paper catches his attention. He extends his arm to grab it. A shaky breath escapes his lips as he opens the letter.

I'm sorry, prince. You deserve the world, and I know I've been holding you back. Now, you don't have to worry about that anymore. Find your own peace. I'm setting you free.

I told the mechanic to bring Phi Eed's car here. It's all fixed. Find it in the parking space where I parked my car yesterday. Eat well. Drive safe. Text me our baby's next appointment.

-Bright.

Win waits for some sort of relieved feeling to hover over him, but it never comes. Did he make a wrong choice to focus on healing himself without Bright? Deep down, maybe he has forgiven Bright for everything he did. He feels at ease with that thought. For the past two weeks, he has been spinning in the carousel of introspections of leaving Bright to calm himself down. He also craves to know the truth behind everything.

He is very well aware that he can just straight away ask Bright, but the older man too has had so many chances to tell him everything, but he didn't. The day he moved out of their house and even last night, Bright seemed to be reluctant. Win knows there is something bothering him and he needs to find out why. Why is Bright reluctant to share what he feels to him?

Win plays with the ring on his forefinger that Bright gave him. At last, he can only think of one method. It is just like when he first confronted Bright to accept him at their favorite spot by the field. It looks like he will be the one to initiate things again.

•••••••

As promised, Win texts Bright the day for their baby's next appointment. He is 8 weeks pregnant now. It means two weeks have passed since he last talked to Bright. He hopes Bright has also done some thinking like he did. For Win, he has had enough.

He used those two weeks to rethink, re-evaluate and reconstruct his entire thoughts about what has happened in his relationship with Bright. Two weeks may seem like a short time, but his brain has been actively working to solve everything. The other day, he also discussed with P'Eed on what he should do next. Win went to a few group counseling sessions for his eating disorder. P'Eed signed him up for those sessions and he is thankful for the woman.

Although he stops thinking about starving himself for a while now due to his pregnancy, he is scared of relapsing. His counselor said the chance to relapse will always be there because the crave to do it sometimes comes out of nowhere.

However, it is down to us to fight it. Win realizes how people will always have something to say about him. If he tries his best not to let it get to his head, he should be fine. If he tries his best not to let their opinions stick on him, he should be fine. The only opinion that matters is his own. The only validation that he needs is his own, not from anyone else. Win thinks group counseling has truly helped him to reconstruct his belief system.

To be honest, he feels a lot better after talking to people who have the same experience as him. They encourage each other despite the pain and the struggle they are going through. He is ready for the journey of his own recovery.