Hey. I wanted to say something. Again. I just wanted to say that it's been two days shy of a week since I last saw you, and I don't know if I'll see you again this month. The bad thing about it is, well, I'm not sure if I told you, but the only way to fix how I feel would be if we'd never met, or if you just decided the day we met that you didn't want to be my friend, or if you told me you only wanted to be friends in person on that day. Because now, the only thing you can do is make it worse. The only thing you can do is feed my obsession, or starve it, and the bad thing about it is if you feed it, I'll need more; I literally can not get enough. But if you starve it, the next time I see you, I'll need you to feed it, whether you want to or not. It's a never-ending cycle that I can't break. I have no access to professional help or even a proper diagnosis for whatever this is I'm dealing with.
Even with all the pain and suffering that I cause everyone who I've gotten obsessed with and myself, when the obsession IS fed, if only for a little while, it's the most amazing thing, and I wouldn't say THAT'S why I can't get enough, but it's ONE reason that I'm aware of.
I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I don't think I can. And I'm sorry that I can't feel bad for much that I did, but... I hope this will help you to understand why.
YOU ARE READING
A diary? Something about me?
SonstigesAll the stories I write. All the fantasies I come up with. And you'd read something about me? I'm honored.
