What if? 4 Years with You? (Eremika)

2. Desertion

Eren and Mikasa ran through the starlit night among refugee tents, breathless and exhausted, until they faced the train station. The confusion was immense due to the night's festivities and fairs. The smoke billowing from the chimneys created a barrier to their view.

Mikasa stared at the train that was loudly whistling, ready to depart, leaving her breathless. "Eren! The train! It's about to leave!" She pulled him close to her, so he could see the same sight, but he continued to look at the chaos of a group of unruly children pushing the ticket collector.

"Yeah," he responded as they tried to push through the crowd. "Excuse me!" Eren shouted to get the ticket collector's attention. "We want to board!"

"All the tickets have already been sold. I'm sorry," he replied, annoyed with the unruly kids.

"Tsk... Mikasa, hold my hand again," the young man became frustrated with the response, realising they only had two tickets.

"Uh..." Uncomfortably, she wiped her sweaty hands on her clothes and took his hand, shivering when she felt that his were also sweaty. She had judged herself too harshly.

"Let's board when he's distracted," he whispered to her. Luckily for them, some young thieves shoved the ticket collector, causing him to fall on his backside. Without hesitation, Eren and Mikasa ran hand in hand and entered the carriage. The young thieves were stopped by a conductor who typically inspected tickets and scolded them, warning that they would be kicked out at the next stop. 

During this reprimand, Mikasa and Eren discreetly walked to the other side of the carriage, continuing on and looking for an empty space. When they finally spotted four empty seats, Eren sat down first, exhausted, loosening his tie to wipe the sweat from his forehead and throwing his coat onto the seat in front.

While Mikasa was still standing, she first checked if anyone was following them and then sat down next to him.

"Now what...?" Mikasa spoke in an almost imperceptible tone.

"As far away as possible... and with as few people as possible too," the dark-haired young man replied, looking away, practically at his reflection in the window due to the lights reflecting off the glass. They could tell they had left the centre of Marley; the street lights were becoming scarce, and they were increasingly surrounded by trees.

Mikasa blushed as she imagined if it would be just the two of them, but she didn't have the courage to admit it. The blush wasn't just on her pale face; Eren's darker complexion also appeared quite reddened. Eren realised that his statement had been too obvious and had left them both feeling embarrassed.

When the train entered a tunnel, the darkness increased, deepening the silence between them and quickening each other's heartbeats. However, their serotonin levels plummeted when the train finally emerged from the tunnel, slowing down to a stop at the next station. They observed a vast platform crowded with refugees from the war against the Marleyans. They couldn't understand what was being said, but it was clear that they had experienced an act of xenophobia.

"And what about Armin...?" she asked, her voice barely above a murmur, the weight of remorse immeasurable.

"Mikasa, don't make this any harder... than it already is... I don't even know what I'm doing," Eren replied, refusing to look at the outside scene. He was aware that if he continued to look for another second, he might lose his temper.

"Do we have any money at all...?" All of Mikasa's questions were logical and well-timed, a stark contrast to Eren's recklessness, often leaving him feeling frustrated. The young man sighed, visibly tense.

"Yes, some. Enough for a few nights in those cheap hotels," he replied, though the blame was not on her; it was his own defence mechanism. He preferred to hold back his emotions and stay calm, but he needed time, and her practical questions only added to his unease.

"I don't... I don't want to steal," Mikasa confessed, and finally, Eren met her gaze, dispelling the constant scowl he wore.

"Mikasa, neither do I," he said, trying to smile, taking a deep breath afterward. "But one day at a time... First, we need to find a place to spend the night. We can stay here, now that we've saved money on the trip, and we'll stop until someone..."

Eren felt a leaning on his shoulder; Mikasa had fallen fast asleep.

Mikasa had fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he simply smiled. He tried to memorise the details and contours of her face. Gently, he almost touched his hand to her face but hesitated, not wanting to do something she might not be comfortable with. He could hardly believe they had done "this," it didn't even have a name yet. What was it? Desertion? Escaping? Or simply making the most of the remaining years of Eren's life? It didn't matter; he was too tired to try to describe what it was.

He got lost in her beauty, and with a crooked smile, he covered her with his blazer. Sleep had finally overtaken him, and gravity caused Eren's head to fall upon Mikasa's.

"As soon as I turn this corner, our home will be just as it has always been," I remember it was my last thought before turning the corner, and I remember how difficult it was to run home in a city where I was born and raised, the debris had ruined any visual memory. When I arrived, I shivered at the sight of my home... in ruins. My legs weakened, but how could I give up on my mother lying on the floor, trapped under the wreckage of our house. I rushed forward, climbing the stairs again.

"MUM!"

Innocent children, weak. We tried to lift the wooden beam that had fallen on my dear mother.

"Eren! Take Mikasa and run from here. Quickly!"

"I want to escape too! So get up quickly and get out of here!" I shouted in despair; I wanted the women in my life with me.

I wanted eternity.