"THIS PARASITE THAT NO LONGER RESIDES IN ME."
You join the Armed Detective Agency and reunite with your foster parents, who sob at the sight of you. Their wrinkled arms wrap around you as mother sobs into your shoulder.
"My baby! My poor baby!" She cries into your clothes, and you can feel your own tears welling up in your waterline. "Branded as a domestic terrorist by some evil little man!"
In the quest to find answers for mom had you forgotten about mother and father, who cared for you just as if you were their own. You had been a creature in your own right before you were intercepted by mom's suicide and forced, for the remainder of your childhood and adolescence, into labouring on behalf of the truth. Suicide had sanctioned this slavery.
You reciprocate mother's hug, tears seeping into the fabric of her blouse as she holds you tighter. Adopted or not, they had chosen you to be their daughter, and you had, in your adolescence and teenage years, ignored their affection, too troubled by mom's death.
Now that you've let go, you can see the world as clearly and opalescent as it is. With all its beauty and violence.
"I'm sorry, mother," You quietly say. "I've disappointed you."
"No, no," She shakes her head furiously. "You've found what you needed to find. This is all I've ever wanted for you; it has always been that one thing I couldn't afford to give you. I'm so happy for you."
She wipes your tears.
"I'll see you at home, mother," You say, smiling at her. "And please call the university reception that I'll be re-enrolling this year."
"Of course. Come back soon," Mother tearfully waves, but smiling, at you as you close the door. You breathe in the fresh air, air that you have always thought was polluted with mom's blood, and set yourself to the direction of the Armed Detective Agency.
They had let you join and your entrance exam had been complete. You had to save the life of a 'citizen' (which was just another member of the Agency) without brute force or using your ability, and with quick wits and a silver tongue, you had managed to pass.
Your last dream with mom had gone through you, like a thread to a needle. Everything you do now was stitched with a new colour, without blood.
You arrive at the Agency and you're immediately greeted by Dazai. He is not wearing his coat because of the summer heat, the cool underbelly of spring still present in the summer humidity. You smile as wraps an arm around your shoulder and brings you closer.
YOU ARE READING
mother, mom, ma | d.fyodor/o.dazai
Fanfictiond. fyodor x reader x o.dazai | You had been destined to die from the beginning. Through you does she slip, like sunlight through a sieve, settling onto the ruins of future human relationships, thereby destroying any chance of existence. Dead before...