Diary of a dumb teen

Hey and how ya doin

Dear Diary,

firts of all Im Alex, in the way that my name is Alex, yk? Okay that was kinda stupid, like I said my name is Alex Im a trans-teen my pronouns are he/they, still in the closet thats made out of fucking glass, I mean my brother said something like 'I want a mustache when Im grown up' (Hes like seven so still a tini-tiny baby) and I responded that I want one now, my father looked at me like I was kidding. Im not kidding (Im not stupid xD)

Anyways, my parents are divorced and I have loads and loads of trauma, but doesnt everyone her on Wattpad? So yeah Im your average Wattpad teen. But now were gonna get to the tea:

Yesterday my gf asked me if I even love her anymore that was kinda a lil rescue-thingy for me (idk what these things are named, I mean the one they use if a ship sinks these lil rings) because I literally didnt love her in the way she meant it, it was a platonic relationship, if you dont know what that is google it you lazy ass and my respect for you just lowered because you clearly dont know the dsmp, looking back she ObViOuSlY had a crush on me and wanted a 'real' realationship. So I told her that and later that day she started a big arguement out of the blue and I broke up with her because my friends told me that she did the same thing with them since they know her and she just wants the drama and that whenever shes bored of someone she just starts and arguement and then gaslights you into thinking it is because shes traumatised and cant trust people, if you know think thats maybe true why does nobody want to try help her? Its not the truth, there are some people that want to help her and she knows that and she always gaslights these people into thinking its everyones else fault and everyone always argues with her about everything just because shes an easy victim.

So Im kinda happy that Im out of that thing, now comes the problem I developed a massive crush in someone from my year, shes really funny and pretty and her smile is really cute. I told some people from my friend group that I have a crush on this girl and one of my friends didnt think much of it and told my ex, she freaked out and was really angry and said I am a slut and a faggot, like gurl did u ever think about you being gay too? And later she just told everyone that she had a big crush on the same girl I have a crush on and I dont really care but holy shit, WHY? Is that necessarily? And most of all WHY?

But guess what in class my crush chose to do a group project with me, so the day was a mid day after all. She laughed at my jokes and we did the work together and it seemed like she enjoyed it. Heres the problem with that, Im like I said trans in the closet but idk if she is homophobic or transphobic, but she kinda looks gay (ik shouldnt say that) my gaydar always goes GAYGAYGAYGAY when I see her, maybe thats just because I have a crush on her. What if shes a lesbian? Or she just doesnt want to date trans people? Maybe shes Aro or Aro/ace? (Im ace myself) so Ace isnt a problem ;)

Thats it for now, till next time

yrs forever,

Alex