Indifferent (BWWM)

VI

After about another week of living in the hospital with my wife, we finally got to go back home.

I steadily drove streets, taking my time to make sure my wife remained calm, collected, and safe.

"Zayne, speed up, I'm not an egg, I'm not that fragile." She snapped, apparently knowing what I was doing.

"I just wanted you to be comfortable, Quinn." I shrugged reaching over to rub her stomach, forgetting for a split second that we just left the hospital after losing our 4th child. Her now flat stomach was the last thing I wanted to remind her of.

A small gasp escaped her mouth before she turned all of her attention back towards the window.

I knew I just broke her heart even more, I reminded her of something she's been trying her hardest to forget. I reached for her arm as I searched for the right words to say, pulling over.

"Qu- Quinn I'm-"

"Sorry." She blankly completed the sentence.

"I- It was an accident." I told her. "I really didn't mean to remind you of it. I'm so sorry."

For a moment, she chuckled. Quinn turned towards me with tears in her eyes already.

"You don't get it, Zayne. I don't care if you're sorry, I've heard too many of those. Sorry's just a word," She continued.

"I kn-"

"No, you don't know. You don't know what it's like to be so excited to finally do something! To prepare yourself for a journey that everyone has been through, but as soon as you're halfway there, all of your work has disappeared. No one knows what this feels like, Zayne."

"Quinn that's not true." I told her, grabbing her chin. "You fail to realize that I'm right here next to you, I'm not going anywhere, regardless of what anyone thinks. This hurts me too, baby." I spoke, embracing her and letting her cry into my chest.

"I love you, Zayne." She assured me.

"I can't tell you otherwise." I said, letting a tiny tear drip onto her hair and waiting for it to shrivel back up.

"Let's go home." She sniffed, allowing me to let go of her.

In a week's time, I'll be back at the law firm, earning checks with my father. And I have no doubts that in a week's time my wife will be right back in the gruesome place she just came back from not even a year ago.