Hollow River

41.

I couldn't believe Lando lied to me or maybe he didn't lie, but he could've told me the truth so many times.

I wouldn't be mad if he just told me, I would've fallen even more in love.
Or maybe he didn't know it was me. Maybe he was also still trying to figure out who it was.

The only one who knew was Max, he knew it was me and he knew it was Lando.
Why did he never tell me?

"Good job Ocean" George patted my back. "Uh thanks, you too" I quickly said.
He stopped walking and looked at me. "No snarky remark?"

I quickly put the paper away and shrugged my shoulders. "Not today"

Not today George, I just found out my boyfriend might have been lying to me all this time.

"Hey, are you okay? If it's Lewis then don't worry about it, he will change his mind" George tilted his head as he looked at me. "He'll realize that you're talented"

"Did you just.." I turned my face to him. "Give me a compliment?" I smirked.

"Don't get used to it Ocean" he brushed it off and walked away.

I rolled my eyes. I won one drivers over already, the other driver would be a little harder. For that one I had to work hard and give him a podium.

———————-

I didn't wait for Lando to return back to his room. He gave me the keycard earlier this morning because he was gonna have dinner with his team.

I stayed in the paddock until late, working and getting to know everybody.
It was a different environment than Red Bull but they were all very talented.

I was debating if I should just pack my bags and go back to my own room, but that would be immature.

The old River definitely would've done that, but I wanted to be better since I met Lando.
I wanted to be better for him, so I stayed until he came back.

I waited for hours.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the door open. I sat straight up and looked at him with a smile.

Even though I was mad, I still smiled when I saw him. He had that effect on me, which may seem silly because we didn't know each other for a very long time but I just fell so fast, so hard.

"Hi baby" he smiled, kissed my lips quickly and put his stuff down. "You did a good job, P3 and P4"

I nodded, not saying a word.

Should I just forget about it? What if I didn't like his answer? Was I ready to lose him for something so little?

"What's wrong?" He asked, he wasn't used to me being this quiet.

I grabbed the paper that I stuffed in my pocket and opened it. "Recognize this?" I asked.

He grabbed the paper and took a quick scan over it. He didn't answer but his eyes said enough, they looked at me with so much regret.

He fucking knew it was me all along.

"It's funny because I gave this to the guy I was writing to in my notebook" I started explaining, even though he knew the story pretty well.

I pointed at him. "Which was you"

"It was me" he nodded in response.

"And I would be so happy about that because that meant we fell for each other's personalities and not only because you look handsome" I got up and walked to him. Once again he was looking handsome as ever, but I had to ignore that for now.

"But you knew it was me and you never said anything. You let me go on a date with Nate for fuck sake" I started raising my voice.

He quickly grabbed my hand. "I didn't know it was you back then. I only realized when you dropped your notebook"

When did I drop my notebook? I didn't remember but I didn't care.

"But then you were saved in my phone as mystery guy. Did you change your number or something?"

He looked down at our hands, guilt was dripping from his eyes.

"You didn't change your number..." I looked at him. "You deleted your number out of my phone"

I took my hands back and grabbed my stuff.

"River please" he walked after me, but I quickly put my hand up. "You better shut the fuck up right now. I don't wanna hear it"

I needed time to think. I needed time alone, I needed to get out of here.

"Please give me time to think, I'll see you tomorrow" I said surprisingly calm before leaving his room.

I didn't know if it was the right decision but I had to process everything that just happened.

I was fighting back the tears as I walked out of his hotel. My brain wasn't working but my legs were, I didn't even realize where I was going until I was standing in front of his room.

This could go so bad, but before I could think about it, I was already knocking on his door.

It didn't take him long to open it with a look I couldn't describe nor read properly.
Surprise? Hate? Pity?

"I-I know you hate me" I stuttered. "But I didn't know where else to go"