HAVING AND LOSING | HyunIn

1

   "You like Hyunjin?! Like- our Hwang Hyunjin?" Minho voiced out in disbelief, his eyes wide open from shock as he looked around the dorm, making sure no one was there to hear him, "The dumbling? The dancer- the ferret?" "Yes, Hyung. I like Hyunjin." Jeongin couldn't bear to look the other in the face anymore and averted his eyes to his lap, nervously biting his lip.

   "I know it's not gonna work out, he probably doesn't even like boys! But... I- I just can't help it." His voice grew quiet as well as the boy's surroundings, the black-haired, older boy trying to collect his thoughts. "Tell me you're joking." 

   Lee scooted closer to the younger boy, their legs touching as the in-love boy let his body fall onto the sofa they were sitting on. He was totally embarrassed and disappointed in himself. The boy didn't only fall for one of his group members but also made it so obvious that someone noticed, this was all supposed to be a secret. "I'm not," He whispered.

   Carefully, the older placed his hand on the younger's thigh, letting out a sigh, "This is bad." Again, he took time to collect his thoughts before speaking up, "I mean, we are allowed to date, you know that but... among the group? It would definitely complicate things."

   He softly caressed the pinkish-haired's leg, trying not to sound all too rude and instead comforting.

   Maybe the two adults weren't as close as the other members but Minho was the second oldest and had had a lot of experiences throughout his life, so much Jeongin ended up being glad he was the one that found out—and not someone else.

   The younger boy always went to him when he had something on his heart, not only because they shared the same dorm and Chan was more out of reach, but because he trusted him. Don't get him wrong, Chan was a great leader and made clear that he would always be there for the members when something happened, and Jeongin did go to him every now and then, but he just didn't want to burden him even more—he knew how much he already does for the group.

   "I'm sorry for throwing this on you, Hyung. It would've been better if I just kept it to myself- but still, thank you for listening." Maybe Jeongin needed help in his current situation but he didn't want to burden his hyung even more than he already was, plus there was another thing that stopped him from asking for his help. . .

   Let me just phrase it like this, he doesn't always come up with the best plans. They're rather, questionable.

   Done with the conversation, having said everything he wanted, Jeongin stood up from the sofa, brushing the other's hand off his thigh in the process. "I'm pretty tired, Hyung. I'll go to bed now," Without waiting for an answer he walked through the small hallway and made his way inside his room, locking the door behind him, before sliding down to the ground.

♬

   The next couple weeks passed by in the blink of an eye and the Golden Disk Awards were just around the corner. Jeongin and Minho didn't really talk much ever since that day and the younger could only hope nothing slipped from the older's lips.

   The youngest of the group knew Minho wasn't the type of person to spill someone else's secrets or problems if you want to call it that, but could it really be a coincidence? Could Hyunjin really just suddenly start clinging to him, without knowing what was going on in the other's mind?

   There just had to be something going on, something the boy didn't know about. Jeongin was sure of it, and it didn't seem to leave his mind. "What are you staring at?" Chan was standing in the doorframe of the youngest's room, seeing the boy sat on his bed staring at the wall.

   "Huh? Sorry, I didn't catch that." "I asked what you're staring at, I've been calling you for minutes now," He softly sighed and pushed himself off the frame, closing the door behind him as he walked over to me. Softly he sat down on Jeongin's bed, which he hadn't left since they returned from dance practice

   He already knew what the leader wanted.

   "What's been on your mind?" Jeongin didn't reply and buried his body in the depths of his blanket, hiding away from the older. Chan only sighed and laid himself down next to him, comforter underneath him. "You can tell me anything, Innie. I'll always listen, no matter how stupid it may be."

   With his face hidden in his pillow, Jeongin mustered up the courage to speak, "Me and Lee Know Hyung fought," It wasn't necessarily true, but it wasn't much of a lie either—and with the tension they had created between them, it sure did seem like it.

   Chan laughed at that, "That's what you're worried about?" And the younger groaned before turning away to face the blank wall. "Hey! Don't turn your back on me," The older chuckled before continuing, "Lee know isn't the type to stay mad, just talk to him. I'm sure he misses our cute maknae already. Besides, there are other things to focus on at the moment, we have a lot of upcoming schedules."

   Quietly, Jeongin adjusted his position to be more comfortable, as the older kept on rambling, "You- we should just relax and focus on what matters right now. Even if Lee know is mad at you, just relax. Things will be fine. We've fought thousands of times before and we're still here, together, so everything's going to be fine. Okay?"

   He softly pulled the younger over, forcing him to look him in the face. "Okay?" He repeated. "Okay... thank you Hyung." The older looked at Yang with pure love visible in his eyes, he really adored the members so much.

   "Can I get cuddles now?" And he ruined it. "No-" Without thinking twice he had already lifted the covers and scooted next to the red-haired, his hands immediately finding their way to the younger's waist with a strong grip.

   "You're so annoying," Jeogin whined. The older's touch was always warm and comforting but as to Jeongin's per se, there were moments when it just got too much.

To be totally honest though, this wasn't one of those moments but let's just keep that between us.

♬

   The hard-working group leader left later that day and went back to his own dorm—which he shared with 2Racha and Hyunjin—after complaining about the two loud boys. But we all knew he didn't think that way, it's really no secret.

   "Innie! Are you hungry yet?" Yongbok voiced out, while slowly making his way from the kitchen over to his room. Jeongin's door was still open, allowing him to hear the older—and his footsteps—clearly. "Yeah! I'll be there in a sec!"

   Lazily the singer got out of his bed, plugging his charger into his phone, before standing completely up and marching down the hall. Swiftly he walked to the living room, which was attached to the kitchen, only to stop in his trance when he saw no other than Minho sitting at the kitchen table.

   He stumbled over his own feet—catching the attention of the older—and slowly continued walking, sitting down with an empty seat between them. Jeongin couldn't help but glance at the main dancer from time to time, trying to guess what he was thinking as he couldn't seem to figure out what was going on in his own head. A thousand thoughts swirled through his head, his mind fuzzy.

   He wondered, would his Hyung actually tell Hyunjin? Would he betray his trust and spill his secret just like that? No, he wouldn't.

But what if, he did?

   "Seungminnie, is your voice alright again? The awards are tomorrow." The raven asked, coming back from his room with his and the brunette's phone in hand.

   Tomorrow already? "Don't worry Lix, it's fine again. I probably just slept with my mouth open or something." "Ah, so it dried out overnight?" Seungmin only hummed, slurping his instant noodles. "Makes sense. Sleep with your mouth closed tonight, then." Yongbok teased, earning a not-covered smile from the younger '00 liner.