HAVING AND LOSING | HyunIn

3

   Jeongin was left on seen as he strolled through the hallway of the hotel, Minho either didn't want to talk to him or didn't know what room number he was in.

   To the pink-haired, the first option seemed to be it—that was, until his phone vibrated in his hand and not one, but two messages popped up. "217; what'u need?" He wrote, somewhat making Jeongin's heart calm down and quicken its pace all at the same time.

   He replied with a simple "let's talk," before moving down the hall to where the older's room should be.

   With soft steps, he let his hand grace the wall he was walking past, the same boring, beige tone decorated all of the building. Jeongin didn't pay any mind to it though, his head was way too clouded with thoughts to even spare a glance at the repeating colour.

   All he could think about was the older, and a specific other dancer of the group.

   Finally collecting himself again, he stopped in his tracks to check the room number he was next to. 217, that was it, right? He quickly pulled out his phone, just to make sure he was at the right door.

   Two, one, seven. This was it.

   With unsteady hands, he pocketed his phone once again and carefully knocked against the wooden door.

♬

   "What? I heard that wrong, right?" "I'm sorry Innie.. i-it just slipped out- I didn't mean to tell him! I swear, I might haven't reacted the best way possible but I would never tell someone something like that without their permission! Please, I'm so so sorry Innie." He practically broke down, his strong figure all curled up in front of the younger boy, hiding his head in between his knees.

   He rambled and rambled, sincerely apologising over and over again. Yet Jeongin had long forgiven him, how could he stay mad?

♬—Jeongin pov

   "I-it's alight Minho." I barely managed to comfort him, my voice coming out as quiet as a whisper. "It's not.. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Innie. Really, I am." The fact that he didn't reply to me calling him by his name and without the usual Hyung only proves that he was sincere. 

   He kept mumbling apologies, his hands now gripping my lower legs as if I were about to turn my back on him. It hurt.

   At this moment all my worries about Hyunjin's reaction might've been washed away, all I could focus on was the sight right in front of me.

   Lee Know rarely cried, at least in front of others, I can't really speak for when he's alone, and a whole ass breakdown? I don't think he's shown anyone this vulnerable side of him, not even Han who he was oh so close with.

   I crouched down to his level, slowly and carefully removing his tight grip on my legs and pulled him up by his hands, immediately engaging him in a tight hug. He melted into my touch, holding onto me as if his life depended on it.

   Maybe I was bad at comforting, but who was I to just leave him there? And maybe, I didn't like physical touch all too much but who was I to not give the broken man a hug? 

   And yeah, maybe I was partly mad at him, but who was I to let him fall deeper into the hole of complete darkness, I wouldn't leave him, not now, not ever.

♬—Narrator

   Jeongin spent the rest of the night in the older's room, not necessarily sleeping but talking with his eyes closed. they talked and talked, about both, what needed to be talked about and way more.

   Turns out Minho was actually in a similar situation to the pink-haired, ever since five years ago, that day at the company when he was introduced to Han, god he fell. He fell so bad, so hard. And he couldn't do anything against it, so now, early 2023, he still felt the same—if not, even more.

   Something about the younger boy always managed to make him feel at ease, though don't get me wrong, a lot of his close friends and group members do, yet with him. . . it was different.

   He was different—different to the point Minho wasn't even sure he was real, at times.

   Yet that didn't matter, right now. The morning and early afternoon were spent together as a group but Jeongin didn't dare to look at Hyunjin once, the whole time. Not once did he spare the blue-haired a glance.

   Because Jeongin was scared.

   There were all these thoughts and questions in his head, that kept him from talking to his close friend—his crush. It was weird that he liked him so much, wasn't it?

   It was weird that he fell for one of his group mates, for a guy he spent almost all of his time with, someone he grew closer to over years and years they had spent together, right? For him to fall for someone, who talked and touched him so lovingly, made him feel safe. . . maybe there was nothing weird to it, just fate.

   But even if it was weird, and even if Hyunjin thought weirdly of him now, nothing would change. They'd still be close while recording or on stage, they'd still act the same—act like nothing happened.

   They would pretend everything was fine, after all that's what being a professional idol is all about. To not cause any scandals and be liked by the Korean Republic.

That's it. That's what it's all about.