am A girl who has faced a lot of mistreat and harsh rejection .....its obvious that i have grown to became A PEOPLE PLEASURE ...... my parents always has been a great parent and supporter , they absolutely not responsible for this ... its all of my toxic friends or maybe be dogs ....
people have became complicated and like the way i used to love some people unconditionally .. i cant do it anymore .... more like i feel something is off in each and every person ... i can see through it when they lie to me .... am a really friendly person and unbiased , supporting , trustworthy and love and treat everyone equally .. so that no one would feel bad ...
but i cant find anyone for ME ? like no one see me through me lies , my fake laugh , my word ... the way i understand others ....maybe am the one so complicated ....i just cant find anyone as mine ... the one to rely on . one thing is really strange about me that i overshare everything and at the same time i don't trust that person completely. yesterday i was in a party ... with my X best-friend ... sneha ... i still hate her the way she treated me ... and she has make it up for it in an indirect way .... but she has lost me ... she has lost my sweet self ... but still i found myself telling her about me ... after some time in the party ... i left he with her group because i felt like an exotic piece there ... i didn't fit in there ..
then i met the girl... parnika...
( yeah she !as i said before she has an angle personality .... also the reason why sneha she my ex best friend ...well in a good way because ... sneha was possessive and controlling which i kinda miss . the twisty thing in the story is ... sneha is also ex friend of parnika ... and they got separated for same reason . how parnika got us separated that would be in another part because its whole some )
she was wander alone like me ... i tagged along with her ...... even though we don't stay in touch with each other .. we are really close and she is the most trustworthy person in my list ... probably the 1st ... she may have done some mistakes which led to rise accusation against me .. bUT ITS aBSOLUtely not her fault and she is suffering the same outcome as me ...
we talked the night , i felt like someone understanding me .... and knows how i feel and hate same people i hate ... she explained BEING PRETTY IS NOT EASY ..i sort of knew that situation but not in that detail ... how she explained it to me last night ...
when you are pretty ... every guy has his eyes one you .. they confess their love to you and when you reject .... it become awkward and your friendship also gets ruined . this followed with every guy friend of hers and she loses everyone as a friend ... she has some friends in school and campus .... she also faced the same domination and trolling after that incident ... she had a boyfriend .. they also broke- up him being so possessive
"After all am going to leave this place less than a year " she said at the end ... she would give her boards here and would move to another place for 11th grade
i just nodded ....i would really miss her ... well good for her .. she would have a fresh start
everything happens for a reason
YOU ARE READING
how lonely i am
Humortoday is rakshabandhan ( Indian festivals celebrated to have a brother as a protector ) and being the single child with almost broken contact with the relatives.... just sharing my thoughts of being so leftout
