today was.
i dont know how to finish that sentence.
so today just was. it was a day.
it was a boring sunday.
see, i have this irrational fear of death.
getting eaten by mealworms...
ew.
but then i also have the belief in heaven.
but also, i overthink it and ask myself, "if i live in heaven, when will 'forever' end?"
and then my day starts going downhill.
seeing people that i love asking me what's wrong, and then me having to fake being all happy.
the only person i can talk to this about is my mom, because
1. my sisters don't care at all.
2. my dad doesn't care the least bit about my problems.
3. 2 of my friends are muslim and don't believe in heaven and the 1 christian friend is so unserious
4. honestly, nobody gives a fuck except her.
and also, people think that the youngest is sooo lucky and the parents obsess over the youngest but actually, no.
my oldest sister barely gets shouted at, my dad shouts at her about small things then forgives her immediately, and so as my mom.
my older sister (the middle child) is not invisible in my family. in fact, i think that she doesn't really get shouted at.
but me,
...
i think i get shouted at the most.
when i was young, my dad would shout at me so much that i thought of commiting suicide.
then i found something to live for. (other than christianity)
it was skz.
skz was just.
they were just right.
me and my older sister (middle) called it 'the skz effect'.
(i'll call my older sister ani and my oldest sister ali)
so basically, ali didn't really like skz, (BITCH WHY NOT)
and yet she talked about hyunjin all day.
me and ani were like, is she a solo stan...
we were honestly disappointed.
but no!
she didn't turn out to be a solo stan.
she turned out to be something even worse.
she decided to bully them
and i had to put a stop to it.
( she bullied i.n's smile :( )
we just showed her a bunch of skz edits
and she stopped
and became a stay. (a little bit)
her favorite boy group is enhypen (yess) and her favorite girl group is (g)-idle (YESSS)
but yeah.
today was ass.
i finally found the right word!
today i wanted to make tanghulu and so i did it.
i went outside to get the hose and wash the pot (we do that when whatever we cooked won't get outta the pot)
but i forgot that the hose water is cold..
and the tanghulu hardened.
in. the. fucking. pot.
omfg
my dad just told me to get my a$$ up and go 2 bed
stfu, dad!
word count: 470
bye besties
