Everly.

Sunrise

I woke up the next day in an almost panic, not remembering whether last night was real or a dream. For the first time in my life I had felt confused, and controlled by my emotions. After we made our way back to where she was staying, she typed her number into my phone and headed up the two flights of stairs into what I'm assuming was her relatives place. I slowly paced my way back to my apartment and let what was left of the darkness hide my thoughts. I have never kissed someone the way I kissed her, and although only a few heart wrenching seconds long, I could feel all the ends of my body burning while her lips were attached to mine. She quickly pulled away, and apologized while I stood there in confusion. "I am so, so sorry! I don't know why I did that, I think I am just overwhelmed, and consumed by all this around me." I would say I am pretty consumed by her at this point. I am not sure if I was being rejected, since I never get that from girls. "I have a boyfriend, and he's going to be so hurt when I tell him this." She says looking out past the city, almost no emotion behind her gaze. "I am sorry, I don't remember you ever telling me otherwise I would have stopped you." Well I would have felt maybe a little guilty, but I definitely would not have stopped her. I just wanted to throw her some comfort. That is when we started our awkward, silent journey toward 12th.

I make my way through the day, her lips still flooding my every thought. When I run into Jameson on the way downtown and he teases me for leaving last night. "So, how was it? Worth it? Details!" Sometimes he really did bother me. "Nothing happened, she was just a girl who was visiting and I showed her some things around town, the end." Jameson throws me a confused look, and I'm surely feeling the same way inside. "Well, all right then... what are your plans for the day?" "I start my shift at 8PM so just hanging around until then, same usual boring crap." His mouth starts to make this god awful grin and he pats my back and heads up 15th. I know he is up to something, and I really am not in the mood to find out today. I return some stuff at the library, decide on a black coffee, and walk toward the music store. I could definitely use some noise to block my overwhelming thoughts right now. When seven rolls around, I throw on my usual attire and shuffle my way out of the building. It's Saturday, and it's sure to be a shit show tonight. I don't mind the shift for the money, but the people can throw me over the edge. When I slide behind the bar it's a little early for my shift, but I start doing what needs to be done in preparation for tonights festivities. I need a distraction, and this surely will help. Time is flying by at this point, the crowds of people piling in, spitting drink orders left and right. I look up just in time to catch a glimpse of what I'm almost confused to even be seeing. Her. She nods and smiles toward me and quickly shifts away. What in the hell is going on, I think. That is when I see Jameson hopping his way over to the end of the bar, shit grin and all. "What the hell man?" "Hey, her friends are now my friends and well we all needed a drink, and what better place to do that?" Pointing at me, clearly he can sense the frustration.

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves tonight, except for me of course. I was hoping I could use work and the crowds of no ones to distract myself from her, but that doesn't seem to be working in my favor this evening. My shift is quickly coming to an end, and my "friends" are still huddling the table in the back corner. She has been drinking quite a bit tonight and I am wondering if this night will somehow take a twist as did the prior one. Just about all of me is hoping it does.