Ask and Dare the Balkans!

Valentine's Day

"What do the Balkans do for Valentine's Day??"(Asked by SoldiLover1234)

"Valentine's Day? Well uh we don't celebrate it that much." Serbia said, trying not to cry AGAIN. "But what we do is call our crushes or lovers and say the best pick up line we got! But since most of our lovers live with us now..we don't do the calling thing but we do pick up lines though!" Serbia called for the other Balkans to come. "Ok watch this you all! Ellie! Come here!" "What did I tell you, Greece? He's so gay.." "I know right, turkey? He's into femboys..eww!" Greece and turkey's clothes were very wrinkled and they were slightly sweaty and Greece had a slight boner. "I'M NOT GAY AND I'M NOT INTO FEMBOYS! AND WHY DO YOU TWO LOOK LIKE YOU FUCKED?!" Turkey and Greece stayed quiet but blushed. The other Balkans laughed. El Salvador came. “Yeah? What do you want?” Serbia got close to him and touched him. "Mmm..ellie…you know..me and you are just like those other Balkans..one spark and we'll start a world war..~" “I-I..” he blushed and got a boner. Croatia looked at it. "Nah..see that's way too sus.." “jit you’re way susser when those doors close and it’s just us.” Said Mexico. "NAH SHUT UP YOU TOO SUS!" “YOU WAY MORE SUSSER THAN ME JIT” Turkey looked down at Greece who was already looking at him in a suggestive way. "Well..let's hope Saudi doesn't hear this but..Greece..the policy of containment must not apply to my pants when I'm around you." "You PERVERT! I like it..~ But I must be Vlad the Impaler because I wanna see you get impaled on my stick ~.." "But it's so small, oj.." "Yeah, just like your girlfriend's boobs!" "Well um..oj at least i-" "uh…can we just do another pick up line?" Kosovo asked. "SHUT UP KOSOVO!" Everyone said.  “Oj leave Kosovo alone everyone he’s  right shut the fuck up bosnia.” said herzegovina. "Oh..uh oj I had a pick up line for you Herzegovina." “Huh? Say it oj..” "Well uh your love is like a dictatorship..it takes complete power over my heart. I wanna be a slave to your alive baby..ask me to fuck you, oh yeah I'll fuck the shit outta you.. I'll finish in your pussy baby if you want me to..I'm your slave to our love." She blushed. Macedonia threw a cigarette at him. "That shit is just fucked up.. like so fucking weird." "Well oj I was pouring my heart out-" Macedonia beat the shit outta him. Montenegro woke up and saw Macedonia. “H-huh? What are you doing? Stop it.” Macedonia looked at her and immediately stopped and started blushing a lot. "Ok Montenegrooo anything for you.." “Can you lay by me..?” "Okk!" He laid by her. She cuddled with him and he blushed a lot more. "Heyy Macedonia, tell us your pick up line!" Greece said. "Uh you sure? It's kinda weird." "Oj I just told herzegovina I wanna fuck her so it's ok." "Shut the fuck up midget. Anyway Montenegro wanna hear it?" “Mhm..”  "Ok. Well I may not go down in history but I will go down in you.." she blushed because she was daydreaming and wasn’t paying attention. Croatia looked at her. "Macedonia I don't think she even knows what's happening..she kinda dumb." "Oh And you're not? You literally MURDERED ME OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOU PRETEND TO BE STUPID AND LIKE KIDS SHOWS FOR ATTENTION YOU DUMBASS." They started fighting. “JIT CALM DOWN!” Said Mexico. She stopped them from fighting. Turkeys phone was ringing. He answered it. "Hello?" "Heyy Saudi! I fucked your husban-" turkey covered greeces mouth. “I know he did I fucking saw you two..Turkey I wanted to call and say I wanna break up because I already know you’re gay and that’s very bad. I thought you were Muslim.سترى إبليس وليس الله. وداعا الآن(you are gonna see whatever the Muslim devils name is and not allah. Now goodbye)” "WAIT WAIT NO SAUDI PLEASE!" Greece pushed turkey's hand away. "Ooh turkey desperate for that moneyy!" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH GREECE." "Make me~." "You piss me off Greece." Saudi hung up. "NOOO SAUDI…" "Well screw her turkey.. we'll just make money the old fashioned way~." Greece pushed him down on the floor and got on top of him. "Greece..what the fuck are you doing?" "I just wanna ride you soo bad.." "You're retarded." He pushed him off. "AND YOU'RE HAIRY! UGH I HATE YOU! But I still love you.." Greece walked off angrily.  Japan went to Greece. “Greece..I need to talk to you..” "About what, nerd?” “Do you love me..?” "Sure. Now leave me alone! I am so mad!" “NO YOU DONT GREECE” she picked him up with her tentacles “WHAT THE FUCK DOES TURKEY HAVE THAT I DONT. HUH?” "A big dick." She threw him to the ground then picked him back up again . "OWW NERD.." “I just wanna be loved by you Greece…”  "Ok." “But you keep talking to other people you faggot. So I won’t kill you. I won’t kill myself. I’ll let you go and ghost you. Forever.” "ok nerd. Now let me down.” She slammed him down hard and walked away. "Whatever.." outside of greeces room Croatia was wanting to say his pick up line. "Yoo listen to my Rizz!" He looked at Mexico. "In garten of ban ban, Slinger Flynn says having many arms allows him to help a lot of people. But the thing is..If I had that many arms..I'd finger and fist you so much." He dabbed. she blushed “you would jit?” "Yeah." She kissed him. "Oj! My turn! But there's no Canada 2.." he was about to cry. "Bosnia don't start that shit." Serbia kicked his head. “Don’t kick him you short bitch.” Indonesia kicked Serbia. “What’s wrong Bosnia?” "No Canada 2…" “hey hey…don’t cry.. at least I’m here.” "Canada 2…" “uhh I’m Canada 2?” "Oh shit see this is why we can't have nice things Indonesia.." Serbia slapped her. "OJ.. DID YOU JUST TOUCH CANADA 2?! YOU SHORT ASS MOTHER FUCKER WANNABE PIRATE RACIST SEXIST SERBIAN FAGGOT BITCH.." Bosnia picked him up and beat the fuck outta him. “Thanks Bosnia." "Your welcome Canada 2!"ki She kissed him. "Oj! Ready for my pick up line?" “Mhm” "Well oj…I love you!" The whole damn Balkans bursted out laughing at bosnia's "pick up line ". “Um well at least you tried. I love you too Bosnia.” "Wait, what about me? My pick up line?" Asked Slovenia who was sitting on the couch next to Bulgaria. "Nobody cares about you, Slovenia." Said Serbia.