I'm Right Here

Chapter 21 - "Keep talking."

Tw: Faisal discusses mature topics with Asfia

"I'll tell you everything." Faisal whispered, gazing at his wife, whose eyes remained fixated on the floor.

"Fiza was my junior in the pediatric PG program. She was a first-year student when I was in my final year. She was already engaged to Alan," he began.

Asfia was perplexed by this revelation but patiently listened, never once meeting his eyes or breaking the silence.

Faisal shifted on the bed, leaning against the chilly wall, and remained behind Asfia. He, too, discovered it easier to confess his past without locking eyes with her.

"I liked her, you know. At first, it was just a silly crush. But when the pandemic hit, things changed. We leaned on each other for support. We watched people dying, trying our best to save them and often failing. It does something to you when you face the worst things you've ever seen and you have someone there with you, making it a bit easier to wake up the next day and do it all over again. That's when I realized I had fallen for her," he admitted, looking at Asfia.

She had her head in her hands, her elbows on her thighs, and he couldn't see her face. He knew he wouldn't be able to continue if he saw the pain in her expression. He closed his eyes.

"After the first wave of the pandemic passed, she would visit Alan in Manipal and return to Mangalore unhappy. It was clear he was mistreating her, and I'd heard rumors that he was sleeping around as well. I felt protective of her. Then one day, her roommate called me, saying she was unwell and asked me to take care of her. I picked her up from Manipal and brought her to my flat. She was in a terrible state, having a miscarriage..."

Asfia turned sharply to look at Faisal, her eyes red and wide. Faisal met her gaze, feeling a pang of guilt for worrying her, before quickly reassuring her, "No, not mine, we never... It was Alan's." She looked away again.

"She had become pregnant with Alan and miscarried when she caught him cheating. That night, she slept in my arms, and I promised to protect her from that jerk," he said. "But the next morning, he came to visit, and she willingly went back to him."

Asfia couldn't help but sniffle. Was that a hint of anger in her husband's voice? Did his lingering protectiveness over Fiza reveal unresolved feelings? Did he still love her?

"I tried to distance myself from her, to move on," Faisal continued, "but then she told me that Alan was looking for a roommate in Manipal for his second year, and I had been accepted into the GI fellowship there." He took a deep breath, recalling the times he had unintentionally witnessed Fiza and Alan being intimate and then his own actions.

"So, while I was doing my fellowship, Fiza would come to visit Alan. But their schedules didn't align, and Fiza and I ended up spending a lot of time together," he explained.

Curiosity got the better of Asfia. "What did Alan do?" she asked, despite herself.

Faisal was slightly taken aback by her interruption. "He was in his second year of PG in orthopedic surgery at the time," he replied.

"Anyways," he continued, "we would go on walks, grab food together, sometimes she would even cook for me, and we studied together or worked on our research project."

Asfia's eyes narrowed. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear all these details, and she despised the thickness in his voice as he spoke about it.

He swallowed hard before continuing, "She would spend the day with me and then spend the night with that...with Alan."

"When she wasn't around, Alan would often disappear at night, even when he wasn't scheduled for night shifts. I heard through my intern that he was involved with another intern. Fiza found out, but he managed to convince her of his innocence, and she stayed with him," Faisal explained, exhaling sharply.